Doctor, I have a feeling people ignore me...

- Doctor, I have a feeling people ignore me...
- Next, please

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The last girl I dated reminded me a lot of a cat, she would annoy me for attention, but ignore me once I gave it to her...

...the difference is that I never woke up with her asshole in my face.

Before our marriage when my wife told me that she’s a cat person, I should have realized that...

..... for the rest of my life she’s gonna sit on the other side of the bed & ignore me all day.

People treat me like a god

They ignore me until they need me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and the hooker...

My wife of 5 years had put on just a little bit of weight recently and I wanted to encourage her to become fitter. I took up jogging hoping she’d join me on my runs but she didn’t take to it immediately. Nevertheless, I continued doing it every evening and like clockwork,I would run past this extrem...

My love for you is like a candle.

If you ignore me I will burn your house down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I speak for the trees!

So an ant is walking through a field, scavenging for food. Suddenly, his legs stiffen up and he has trouble walking. "Feet! He says, angrily. "Why have you failed me? I must search for food, but I am unable to walk." "Not us!" Squeal the feet. "We only are only meant for gripping the ground or ...

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