UPJOKE

Ignore Me Jokes

My wife has been addicted to Netflix lately and has started to ignore me...

...So I went ahead and renewed the subscription for another 10 years.

Doctor, I have a feeling people ignore me...

- Doctor, I have a feeling people ignore me...
- Next, please

People treat me like a god!

They ignore me until they need my help.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The last girl I dated reminded me a lot of a cat, she would annoy me for attention, but ignore me once I gave it to her...

...the difference is that I never woke up with her asshole in my face.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack says “mom I don’t want to go to school today.”

Mom: aww how come?

Jack: The kids bully me. They make fun of me, do pranks on me and they don’t listen to me when I tell them to stop.

Mom: Is that so?

Jack: The teachers ignore me as well. They say that I need to deal with my own problems. They even laugh at me and talk behind...

My love for you is like a candle.

If you ignore me I will burn your house down.

Before our marriage when my wife told me that she’s a cat person, I should have realized that...

..... for the rest of my life she’s gonna sit on the other side of the bed & ignore me all day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and the hooker...

My wife of 5 years had put on just a little bit of weight recently and I wanted to encourage her to become fitter. I took up jogging hoping she’d join me on my runs but she didn’t take to it immediately. Nevertheless, I continued doing it every evening and like clockwork,I would run past this extrem...

If Hillary wins I'm moving to Benghazi

at least she'll ignore me there!

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