I Was So Drunk Jokes

the cops pulled somebody over on T.V and I put my beer under the couch.

"Bro, dont worry, happens to everyone"

"Na, bro, you dont understand... Chunks is my dog"

Three friends celebrate with a night on the town. The day after, hung over, the three friends meet.

The first friend says, "I can't believe how much we drank last night! I was so drunk, I blew chunks!"

The second friend shakes his head and says, "You think that's bad? I got so drunk... read more

After several drinks, the first one gets up to leave. "Where do you think you're going?" ask the others. He says, "Guys I'd love to stay but I have to cut myself off. The last time we got together, I was so drunk. When I got home, I blew chunks right on the living room floor in front of my wife and ... read more

1st woman says "girls I got so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks".

2nd woman says "you think that's bad? After I dropped you two off, I drove home. I was so hammered I ended up driving through my garage door and kept going. Destroyed my garage, my husband says it's going to cost 5... read more

Three ladies (previously partying the night before) meet up for brunch and compare just how drunk they were.
Girl 1: I was so drunk last night that I ended up texting my ex-boyfriend professing my undying love.
Girl 2: that’s nothing I barely was able to stumble to my door. Once inside all ... read more

Tells the bartender he needs four shots. Leaves drunk. He comes back the next day, tells the bartender "man i threw up last night!" And yet orders 4 more shots. He leaves drunk. The next day the same thing happens. "I threw up again, i need four more." Again, he leaves drunk.
On the fourth night ... read more

Three drunks sitting at a bar discussing who was the most drunk the previous day.

1st drunk says "I was so drunk last night i went home and blew chunks".

The 2nd drunk says "that's nothing! I was so drunk last night I drove home and crashed into a tree, kicked my front door down and wo... read more

So, as a responsible person, I didn’t want to drive home and called a cab. I was so drunk I couldn’t remember my address, so the cab drove me around the city all night long.... only in the morning, waking up in the cab did I remember... the party was at my place!

One day there were 3 men in a bar. They all got drunk and went home. The next day, they gathered together and talked about how drunk they were. The first guy said, "I was so drunk last night, I made out with the lamp." The second guy said, "That's nothing, I got my DUI." The third guy said, "I went ... read more

So a guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Whiskey?"
"No," says the customer, "just water; i was so drunk last night that I went home and blew Chunks."
The bartender tries to console him, saying "Oh come now, everyone gets a bit wasted from time to time."
To which the guy replies, ... read more

After a night of heavy drinking at the bars, 3 girls meet up the next day to recall their drunkin night

Girl 1: I was so drunk last night when I got home I blew chunks for hours!

Girl 2: That’s nothing! When I got home I couldn’t even make it to the toilet and threw up all over my bath... read more

All three get crazy drunk and then head home. The next weekend they meet up again.

Guy #1: "Guys, my life is ruined. I got so drunk last week that I was pulled over driving home and got a DUI. I'm probably going to have to go to jail."

Guy #2: "Damn, that sucks. But my night was worse.... read more

He told him to be on his way because of all the trouble he was causing.
"Fine," the man said, "I'll go now."
As he tried to leave the bar, he kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this kept happening until he later spoke with his girlfriend.
The man tells her, "I was so drunk that... read more