UPJOKE

I Got So Drunk Jokes

I got so drunk last night

I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest...

I got so drunk the other night that I lost my glasses.

The rest is a blur.

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I got so drunk last night I slept like a baby.

I pissed and shat myself, woke up crying looking for another bottle.

"Man, I got so drunk last night I blew chunks..."

"Don't worry, dude; we've all done that at some point"

"You don't understand, Chunks is my dog..."

Three friends celebrate with a night on the town...

Three friends celebrate with a night on the town. The day after, hung over, the three friends meet.

The first friend says, "I can't believe how much we drank last night! I was so drunk, I blew chunks!"

The second friend shakes his head and says, "You think that's bad? I got so drunk...

I got so drunk last night that I had to take a cab home... you know, it was exciting."

"That was the first time I ever drove one."

3 women meet for brunch after a wild night...

1st woman says "girls I got so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks".

2nd woman says "you think that's bad? After I dropped you two off, I drove home. I was so hammered I ended up driving through my garage door and kept going. Destroyed my garage, my husband says it's going to cost 5...

Three guys go to a bar

They get really, really, really drunk.

They meet up the next day. Guy #1 says, "I got so drunk last night that I passed out right in the bar."

Guy #2 says, "That's nothing. I got so drunk last night that I went home and blew chunks."

Guy #3 says, "That's nothing. I got so drun...

There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him because he was dressed in really colorful clothing.

He had all this colorful make-up on and his hair was spiked up with red, green, & yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin' at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the o...

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After a Night of Drinking...

Three friends get into an argument over who got more wasted the night before.

"I got so drunk last night, when I got home I blew chunks," said the first man.

"I got so drunk last night, I got pulled over for a D.U.I.," said the second man.

But the third man was certain he got mo...

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Three Poles are talking about what's the drunkest they've ever been in their lives

The first one says, *"You might not believe me, but I got so drunk once that I woke up in an alleyway 3 blocks away from my home!"*

The second one says, *"Hah! That's nothing! I got so drunk once that I woke up in a different town altogether!"*

*"You guys are a bunch of pussies...

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A man is in a bar drinking

He gets so drunk that he pukes all over his shirt. He tells the barkeep in his drunken stupor, "I'm in trouble now man, if my wife finds out i got so drunk that i puked on my shirt, she'll kill me!" The barkeep says, "don't worry man, here's what you do, you take a $10 dollar bill and put it in your...

Three ladies are hanging out at a bar.

But its a quiet night, so they decide to mix it up a bit. Each decides to go to a bar and meet up the next morning, sharing stories on how drunk they got.

The next morning, the three ladies meet up at a coffee shop and begin to share their stories.

The first one begins, with "i got so ...

Crab and flea

A crab and a flea are talking one day, when the flea has a brilliant idea.

“Let’s split for one week, catch a ride on whatever we please, then we’ll meet back up and share experiences.”

Thinking it sounds like a great plan, the crab agrees, and they set about their ways.

One w...

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Three guys meet in class after a superbowl sunday, still super hungover from the night before.

The first guy pipes up and says 'Fuck. i got so drunk last night I blew chunks.' The second guy cuts him off nearly immediately screaming 'oh yeah? I was so drunk I emptied my bank account at the strip club after. I have no money to pay rent now.' The third guy laughs at both of them and said 'that'...

Three best friends get together at the bar.

All three get crazy drunk and then head home. The next weekend they meet up again.

Guy #1: "Guys, my life is ruined. I got so drunk last week that I was pulled over driving home and got a DUI. I'm probably going to have to go to jail."

Guy #2: "Damn, that sucks. But my night was worse....

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Two guys are getting really drunk at a bar...

...and one of them proceeds to vomit all over his own shirt.

He says to his friend, "Aww man. My wife is going to kill me. She's going to be so pissed that I got so drunk tonight."

His friend says, "Don't worry I have a plan ."

He tucks a $20 bill in the man's shirt pocket an...

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A Man at a Bar Throws Up All Over Himself

A man was at a bar, drinking beer after beer until he was sick and involuntarily threw up on himself. Disgruntled, he went to the bartender for help.

"Man, my wife is gonna kill me if she finds out I got so drunk that I threw up on my shirt. Is there anything you can do to help me?"

"I...

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