Crush: Why should I trust you? All the guys I've been dating have been dogs.
Me: .........
Crush: Well? Aren't you going to say anything?
Me: ........... meow?
I trust the highway to hell, but not the stairway to heaven
because it's up to something.
I trust the doctors performing my Spinal cord bypass surgery
because they have my back.
Why don't I trust stairs?
They are always leading up to something.
I trust anyone who can pick me up
It's not a good rule, but it's carried me this far
I just got an idea to get "i trust no one" tattoo on my arm
But I don't think any tattoo artist would do it properly
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I started dating a girl who told me she had "serious trust issues"
I told her that I would make it my mission to help her learn to be better. That I would stay by her side, never hurt her, and understand that it will take time to earn her trust.
She said no, that's the issue... "I trust anyone too quickly."
So following thru with my mission I told he...
I'm 99% sure I have trust issues.
Though I'm not sure I trust my math.
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his real estate agent to his bedside. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.”
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I on...
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