UPJOKE

I Identify Jokes

I identify as Schrodinger's cat

My pronouns are is/isn't.

I was born male, I identify as male, but according to Sainsbury's Deluxe Sticky Toffee Pudding....

I'm a family of four.

I told my shrink I identify as a dog

He made me get off the couch

I identify as a snack.

Sometimes I'm sweet, sometimes I'm salty, but I'm always delicious.

I identify as a chocolate bar

My pronouns are her/shey

I’m fat, but I identify as skinny.

I’m trans slender.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I identify as a tri-sexual...

I try to have sex, but I fail.

I identify as a donkey

Hee/Haw

I identify as an ambulance

My pronouns are wee/woo

I Identify as Italy in the 1600’s

Baroque

I identify as an elongated fish...

People say im mentally eel

I think I identify as a church roof.

I'm beginning to tran-spire

I identify as Giantkin.

My pronouns are Phe/Phi/Pho/Phum and i'd like you to respect them please.

I Identify as a chair

Why, because I have nice legs and want girls to sit on me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I identify as a sexual atheist

With a strong belief that I will never get laid.

I identify as a ferrari

Because I like to have two people inside of me.

I am a big guy but I identify as skinny.

I guess you could say I am trans slender.

I identify as an employee wherever I go.

Now I can use any bathroom I need to.

A man walks into an LGBTQ centre.

He walks up to the front desk and introduces himself. "Hello, I identify as a chocolate bar. Can I join?"

The receptionist replies "Sir, that's disgraceful! You're mocking the community. We're going to have to ask you to leave."

"You can't call me sir!" The man exclaims. "I use her/she...

I'm stressed. Sometimes I identify as a tipi. Other times as a marquee.

My psychiatrist says I shouldn't worry though, I'm just being too tense.

I was assigned AB positive blood type at birth, but I identify myself as having B negative blood.

After all, blood is fluid.

Even though I was born visible...

I identify as trans-parent. My pronouns are who/where.

Today i asked myself the question:

Do I identify myself as a man or a woman. But then I knew after I spilled my coffee, I am just a disappointment.

Politically correct

I identify as as a comedian
My pronouns are HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE

Doctor: “Sir....”

Patient: “It's MA'AM. I identify as a female”

Doctor: “Okay Ma'am. You have testicular cancer.”

My preferred pronoun is "letter"

I was born female, but I identify as mail

Pi and -7 walks into a bar

They both ordered drinks.

" I identify as a fraction!" said Pi

"You cannot be a fraction" said -7

"I can identify as a letter if I want, I can be an equal sign if I
want!!! Don't tell me who to be! You are so negative."

-7 sighed, took a sip of his drink and said "you...

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