a patient went into the doctor's office for his physical. when the patient asked how his health was, the doctor replied "well, i have some good news and some bad news". ever the optimist, the patient said "give me the good news first". the doctor smiled and said "well, the good news is that you are ...
"Son, I have some good news and some bad news."
"OK..." he hesitated.
"Well, the good news is...I got you a replacement hamster." I said.
"A...replacement..?" he stopped, as a tear ran down his cheek.
"Yes, and that leads me to the bad news," I added, "You are adopted."
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news....
The good news is that we've definitely proven you're not a hypochondriac.
Doctor: "I have some good news and some bad news."
Me: "Well, what's the good news?"
Doctor: "The good news is, we're going to name a disease after you. "
Doctor: i have some good news and some bad news after your surgery.
Patient: give me the bad news first. Doctor: we f&$&d up and amputated the wrong leg Patient: my god! wtf can’t be real! Give me the good news then Doctor: the leg that needed to be amputated is getting better now and we don’t need to amputate it anymore.
A hospital surgeon told his patient : "I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"
The patient said, "Give me the bad news." The doctor said, " We are going to have to amputate both of your feet." The patient said, "Oh, that's terrible! What's the good news? The doctor said, "The patient in next bed wants to buy your slippers."
Dr: "I have some good news and some bad news Spiderman. The good news is that the constant tingling sensation isn't your Spidey sense warning you of some huge, impending calamity!"
"What's the bad news Doc?"
"Well son, what do you know about genital herpes?"
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: Ok, what’s the good news first?
Doctor: You have 7 days to live.
Patient: What news could be worse than that?
Doctor: I should have told you 6 days ago.
The attorney tells his client the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news."
"What's the bad news?" asks the accused.
"The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it."
"What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is 130."
A man wakes up in hospital after an accident. The Dr says, " Sir, I have some good news and some bad news, which would you like first? "
The man says, "Give me the bad news". Dr - " I'm afraid we've had to amputate both of your legs". Man - " Oh my gosh, what's the good news?" Dr- " The man in that bed wants to buy your shoes."
The doctor has some good news and bad news
A guy had a problem with his foot and the doctor said he has to cut it off. After the surgery the patient sees the doctor worried P: What’s wrong, Doctor? D: I have some good news and some bad news. Which one do you want to hear first? P: The bad news D: we cut the wrong foot off. ...
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.....
A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news." The man says, "OK, give me the good news first." The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live." The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man went duck hunting and a gust of wind blew, his shotgun fell over and discharged, shooting him in his private parts.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK.
The damage was partly to your groin. There was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the birdshot...
Golf
The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel. Your Holiness, said one of the Cardinals, Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths. The Pope thou...
There was a man who was trying to do something special for his new wife for her birthday.
He cant think of anything to give her, so he reluctantly goes to his Mother-in-law for some advice. She decides to go to the mall to shop for some things together.
On their way over to the mall, they get into a bad car accident. They get t-boned on the side of the car where the Mother-in-law ...
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client
He says,
"John, I have some good news and some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first."
The attorney said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will b...
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