Ho Ho Jokes

But that's enough about the Kardashians, merry Christmas everyone!

When he walks into a room and sees your mother, sister, and wife

The bartender says, “oh sorry, we’re not that kind of establishment “

A Pimp!

I told him I'm an "I'm not paying 600$ for Photoshop" type of pirate

I thought it was Santa Claus but I turned around and it was just a pimp taking inventory.

It's Christmas eve and Santa is delivering presents. In one house, a young woman is waiting for him when he climbs down the chimney. She says to him "Santa, will you stay?" And he says "Ho ho ho, Santa's gotta go, I got presents to deliver you know". "Well, if I take off my gown will you stay?" and ... read more

I got a job at a company that makes fire hydrants, but I had to give it up. There was no place to park.

Then I went to work for a company at prints calendars. But I knew from the start that my days were numbered.

So I went to work for a moving company. They told me to vacate the premis... read more

“You are a very suspicious man. Who did you say you are?”

“I’m Father Christmas.”

“Then who is this Santa?”

“Oh that’s also me, I have many names, ho ho ho!”

“So you are a spy then? And what kind of jet is that? It is not detectable by our radars.”

“You mean the sl... read more

You'd think it's because she's a ho ho ho, but really he just wasn't present enough.

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!!


Made this one up when I was 5 or 6 and I’m still getting mileage out of it 30+ years later

He said, "I would like a gift from your Mother"

I asked why and all he said was "Ho Ho Ho"

I have a lot to unpack here.

He ho ho ho's in different area codes.

Too many ho ho hos.