UPJOKE

His Honour Jokes

The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has been commissioned by Putin to develop a new robot to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others. They have named it in his honour.

It's called RARA's grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine.

Wonder if Kylo Ren took his grandfather's name in his honour.

Would be weird signing off orders as "K. A. Ren".

In 1946, Winston Churchill travelled to Fulton, Missouri.

He was there to deliver a speech and to present at the dedication of a bust in his honour.

After his speech, an attractive and ample woman approached the wartime Prime Minister of England and said, "Mr. Churchill, I have travelled over a hundred miles for the unveiling of your bust."

C...

A long time ago...

For many years, a small indian village had been mistreated by a great fire breathing dragon. All the villages were too scared to even leave their houses at night, that was except for a young man named Urkake.

Urkake was a fearless fighter who swore to the village that he would slay the drago...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Roman army was making it's way through Scotland... [long]

Their march was interrupted by a frenzied shouting in the distance. The general ordered his men to stop and directed his attention towards the source of the noise. A single highland warrior was standing alone at the top of a small hill, yelling at the oncoming army.

"Come ahead ya big Jessies...

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Big Chief was suffering from constipation for over a week...

He hadn't laid a log in what felt like forever and this caused him great frustration, pain and discomfort. In great desperation, he decides to visit the tribe's witch doctor in the hope of finally loosening his bowels.

The witch doctor let's him in and says "Hey there Big Chief, to what do I ...

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Diplomatically Speaking!

When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British
ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honour.

At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame de
Gaulle:

"Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a pres...

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