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Higgs Jokes

A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic church

The Priest says " you can't be here!". The particle replies "you can't have mass without me ”

A Higgs Boson particle showed up at church one day. The priest yelled, “hey we don’t serve your kind here.”

The Higgs Boson particle said, “but you can’t have mass without me.”

All this news about finding the Higgs Boson is so exciting...

It's giving me a Hadron.

What grazes in the Higgs Field?

The Higgs Bison!

Higgs Boson walks into a church

Pastor says "*oh no, no you don't! You have caused the church plenty trouble already, I must ask you to leave immediately!*"

Higgs Boson replies "*but without me, how will you have mass?*"

Higgs Boson walks into a church during Sunday services...

...and the priest immediately stops preaching and says "We dont like your kind around here. You are not welcome in this church.". The whole church, already silent, waits anxiously when Higgs replies "Why not? You can't have mass without me!"

I heard there's a guy that destroyed a group of Higgs Boson particles.

He's a mass murderer.

Why would the Higgs Boson feel unsafe in a country where the leader openly practiced genocide?

It would be a land of mass-murder

What instrument do musically-inclined scientists play?

The Higgs-Bassoon.

What's the most massive mammal?

A higgs bison.

LHC (Large Hadron Collider)

When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina.

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