UPJOKE

Hey Girl Jokes

Hey girl are you a school?

Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

Hey girl, are you a newspaper?

Because there’s a new issue with you every single day

Hey girl, are you an obelisk?

Because I'm trying to find out what an obelisk is through process of elimination.

Hey girl, are you a broken compass?

Because I’m not really sure where I’m going with this

Hey girl, are you the Bible?

'Cause men keep misinterpreting what you say to support their own selfish agendas.

Hey girl, I heard you like bad boys

Well not to brag or anything but
I'm bad at everything

Hey girl, are you the SAT?

Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."

Hey girl, are you a parked car in July?

Because I want to leave a baby in you.

Hey girl are you from Tennessee?

Because you look like your parents are related.

Hey girl are you a piñata?

Because I'd need a blindfold to smash that.

Hey girl is your name Karl Marx?

Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes

Hey girl, is your atomic number 11?

Because you're sodium fine.

[OC] Hey girl, are you a keyboard?

Because you're something I might just smash out of frustration.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you Afghanistan?

Because it would take me 20 years to pull out.

Hey girl, are you a Chinese immigrant from the 1800s?

Because I want to make you mine.

Hey girl, are you an arms dealer?

Cause every time I see you, you give me a semi, automatic.

Hey girl, are you click bait?

Because I see 10 reasons why you're perfect and you won't believe #5

Hey Girl.....

Unless he wears a diaper, you can't change him.

Hey girl are you an electron?

Because you’re so damn negative

Hey girl, are you a toaster?

Cuz I wanna turn you on and put you in my bath.

Hey girl are you a cave in Thailand?

Cause I wanna leave some kids inside you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you made of Copper, Nitrogen, Terbium, and Silver?

Because you are a CuNTbAg.

Hey girl, are you an obelisk?

Because I'm trying to find out what an obelisk is through process of elimination.

Hey girl have you ever had an Australian kiss?

It’s like a French kiss but down under

Hey girl are you a Thai cave?

Cuz I want to put 12 kids in you

Hey girl, are you Harambes enclosure?

Because i want to drop babies in you.

Hey girl, are you my Physics examination paper?

Because I can stare at you for 3 hours and not understand a single thing

Hey girl are you proficient in Excel?

Cause I need your help spreadin’ some sheets.

Hey girl, are you a Java compiler?

Because when I proposed a Date, you said I wasn't your type.

Hey girl, are you a gorilla enclosure?

Because i'd put a baby in you

Hey girl are u a brain tumor?

Cuz i cant get u outta my head and its killing me

Pickup line: "Hey girl. Is your dad in prison?"

"Because if I was your dad, I'd be in prison."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you from Iraq?

Coz you look Saddam fine when you Baghdad ass up.

Hey girl, are you a computer?

Because you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.

Hey girl are you today’s date

Cause you lookin like a 1/10

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Hey girl, are you bing?"

"Because i want to use you for porn and then forget all about you"

Hey girl

Are you my mirror because you’re looking ugly as hell

Hey girl...

If the amount of blood cells you have is the same as your phone number, how much blood cells would you have?

Hey girl, are you from IKEA?

'Cause my wife and I are going to have a fight over you.

Hey girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Hey girl, do you like water?

Then you're gonna love like 70% of me

Oh hey girl, what's the difference between you and a pair of glasses?

Glasses seem to fit a bit higher on my face

Hey girl

if you were a fruit you'd
be a fineapple
And if you were a vegetable l'd
visit you everyday in the
hospital

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl ...

... you like big dicks?

-Yes!

-Damn...

Hey girl, are you a math medusa?

Cuz looking at you makes me feel number.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you a fire alarm?

Because you’re annoying, loud as hell and won’t shut the fuck up

Hey girl, are you a parking ticket?

Because I picked you up on the street, and now I can't afford to pay you.

Hey girl are you r/Jokes.

Because you keep repeating the same thing everyday.

Hey girl, is your name Delorian?

Because I want to ride you from time to time

Hey girl, are you dead

Because you give me the necropheels

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you a fire alarm?

Cause you're fucking annoying.

Hey girl are you a COVID-19 cell?

Cause' you've got the kinda curves that take my breath away.

Hey girl are you Area 51?

Cause the government will shoot me for trying to get inside you forcefully

Hey girl are you from Tennessee?

Because I’ve never met someone from Tennessee and I’m starting to have doubts that it’s a real state

Hey girl, are you a restaurant?

Because I want to fill up to 25% of your normal occupancy.

Hey Girl, do you recycle?

Because I'd love to crush that box and leave you by the curb tomorrow morning.

Hey girl are you a Magic The Gathering card?

Cause i’d tap you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl you wanna go to Ireland

Cos you're Dublin the size of this cock

Hey girl, are you the French Revolution?

Because I keep imagining you sans-culottes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you an object-oriented programming language?

Because you've got class.

Hey girl, are you a derivative?

Because I'd like to examine the slope of your curves

Hey girl, are we playing Pokemon Go?

Because I just got a peek achu. ;-)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, is your PH 14?

Because you're really fucking basic.

Hey girl, are you a non essential trip to the supermarket?

Because you got FINE written all over you

Hey girl, are you a USB port?

Because I might have to flip you over a few times before it fits.

Hey girl, are you my appendix?

Because I'm not completely sure how you work, but this strange feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

Hey girl, are you a book?

Because you’re pretty useless to me.

Original joke from r/antijokes bu u/BedsheetCover

Hey girl do you work at the DMV?

Because it feels like you're gonna make me wait forever for something that'll only take 5 minutes.

Hey girl are you africa?

Because Djibouti is making me crazy

Hey girl, ever wanted to feel like the sleeping beauty?

Go to sleep, you'll be halfway there

Hey girl, are you a urinary tract infection?

‘Cuz ur-in-ate out of 10

Hey girl are you Bitcoin?

Because you look like you’re about to crash and I’ll get screwed

Hey girl are you blocking a water source

Because... Dam.

My original joke on my tinder profile. Idk if this should be on r/dadjokes

Hey girl, are you an angle?

Cos I'm sinning to know you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, do you raise birds of the species Parus major?

Because you've got great tits.

Hey girl, are you a gorilla pit?

Cause I'd love to drop a kid in you

Hey girl do you know whats the difference between a gigabyte and a terabyte?

I cant gigabyte out of your ass

Hey girl, are you a large concrete structure forming an artificial lake?

...because dam.

Hey girl are you legs broken?

Make up the other half of this pickup line in the comments.

Edit
Totally goofed it up in the title. Oh well, I had a few drinks last night and things happened.

*Are your legs broken?

Hey girl I want to treat you like a trump-loving Christian treats Jesus.

Come over to your dad’s house on the weekend to drink your wine and eat your body, then act like I’ve never heard of you for the rest of the week.

Hey girl, are you hiding opiates in your bra?

Because I see a Perky-Set.

Hey girl, are you a washing machine?

Coz you're making my pants wet!!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you a popsicle?

'Cause you're cold as fuck and act like you have a stick up your ass.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.