Lost my job as a hedge fund manager today, not sure if due to dress code or work performance!
All the boss would tell me is something about my shorts and that that they didn't cover.
A redditor repeating 15, 15, 15 ... passes by a hedge fund manager.
The hedge fund manager starts to follow him curiously. The redditor keeps repeating 15. The hedge fund manager follows him out of the town, on an unpaved road, to the edge of a cliff where the redditor looks down repeating 15. The hedge fund manager comes next to him to look down into the cliff. The...
I went to a hedge fund manager's work to punch him in the face
And order a McDouble
A hedge fund manager gets out of his Porsche.
As soon as he does, a truck comes and shreds the door off.
“Aaah! My Porsche!”
A bystander immediately told him, “Sir, you didn’t even realize that you lost your arm!”
The hedge fund manager looked down in disbelief.
“Aaah! My Rolex!”
What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?
It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A school teacher, a police officer, and a hedge fund founder are trapped on a deserted island.
After scavenging for days with little success, they come across a magical lamp. The officer decides to give it a quick rub and out pops a genie.
"Hello, I am here to grant each of you an imperishable supply of food and water as you await your rescue. Be warned, it can only be consumed only ...
Quincy inherited a large sum of money at a young age from his father, but he wasted it all on illicit drugs and became destitute and homeless.
It's a cold December night in New York City, with temperatures well below freezing point. Quincy shivers in his one and only winter coat, the same one he's had for the past ten years, lying on a park bench sheltered by nothing but tree canopies. Quincy, in a rare moment of soberness and self-reflect...