UPJOKE

He Couldn't Find A Jokes

An Irishman was flustered because he couldn't find a parking space in a large mall's parking lot.

"Lord," he prayed. "I can't stand this! If you open up a space for me, I swear I'll give up drinking whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday."

The clouds parted, sun shining on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman said, "Nevermind, found one!"

My friend was a limo driver and he couldn't find any people to pick up...

All this time and nothing to chauffeur it.

Why did the Raisin take a Prune to the Prom?

Because he couldn't find a Date!

Why was the teenage crustacean upset?

He couldn't find a date for his high school prawn.

So a DBA walks into a NOSQL bar...

but immediately leaves because he couldn't find a table

There was a guy who had a wooden eye.

He was depressed because he couldn't find a woman that could get past the eye. One day he decides to go to the bar and after getting shot down a few times he walks over to the bar to get drunk.

While sitting at the bar he sees a lady who looks upset. She had been shot down by a few men becau...

I was telling 'dumb blonde' jokes in a bar.

Suddenly a muscular blonde-haired man ran right at me with a sharp razor and screamed "I've had just about enough of you!" Luckily for me, I was left completely unharmed, as he couldn't find a place to plug it in.

A CEO went on a rock climbing trip with one of his employees.

The CEO, an experienced climber, reached the top of a difficult section and was holding a rope tied to both men. As the employee was climbing up, he lost his grip, and was only saved by the strength of the CEO who was barely able to hang on. The CEO yelled, "Hurry, I'm losing my grip!", but the empl...

A cowboy kept trying to draw his gun

Unfortunately, he couldn't find a pencil.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are three naked men outside a Halloween party.

The one guideline to enter the party was that the person trying to get in must have a costume. Near the Halloween party, there was a trash can. None of the men had costumes, obviously, so they agreed to search through the trash can to look for anything to wear as a costume.

The first man foun...

Why did the botanist leave the brothel?

He couldn't find a horticulture.

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