UPJOKE

Have You Ever Wondered Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you ever wondered?

If your mom kissed you goodnight after giving your dad a blowjob?

You are now.

Have you ever wondered why horses are so happy?

It’s because they have a stable home life.

Have you ever wondered...

If sperm whales are the reason the ocean is salty?

Have you ever wondered what MARINE stood for?

Muscles. Are. Required. Intelligence. Not. Essential.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you ever wondered why letters are used to define bra sizes?

{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!

Have you ever wondered if someone made it to their destination?

There there, they're there.

Have you ever wondered if zits are just God trying to speak to you in Braille?

Mine say, "Nobody will ever love you."

Have you ever wondered why people always tell you to sit down before telling you bad news?

It is because you won't stand for it.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be blind?

Well, my friends! Look no further...!

Have you ever wondered about those people who pay a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water?

Try spelling Evian backwards!

Have you ever wondered why Severus Snape taught Potions and not Herbology?

It's because his Lily died.

Have you ever wondered what happened to the value of elon musk's tesla after it went into space?

It skyrocketed!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What religion is your bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Life lesson

Have you ever wondered why before sex both people help each other undress, but after sex each person dresses up individually?

Life lesson: in life nobody will help you when you're screwed, and if someone does help you it's only to screw you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which is worse?

A couple guys are sitting in a bar and they are getting a bit drunk. One of them says to his buddy "hey, have you ever wondered which is worse? Giving birth or getting kicked in the balls?"

His friend considers this for a moment, and responds "it's an age old question. My wife might say chil...

Why their are Angels on top of the Xmas Tree

Have you ever wondered how the tradition of putting an angel on the tree started? It may not be as magical as you might think,

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

T...

One day a family of squirrels and a family of skunks are crossing the road...

...a car drives by and hits them. The only survivors was a baby squirrel and skunk and from that day on they became the best of friends. Years later, they're walking through the woods together:

Squirrel: Hey, have you ever wondered what we were?

Skunk: Yes, I have.

Squirrel: Ho...

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