UPJOKE

Hate You Jokes

How do I say I hate you in a nice way?

"You are the Monday of my life".

Happy Monday ya'll.

To all of you idiots out there that drive loud cars, we hate you and get off our roads.

We don’t care how many “heart attack victims” you have to “take to the hospital.”

How do you know you hate your job?

When your coffee is so strong it shows up in a drug test.

You: I hate you

Me: Well you just did

You: I don't believe you.

Me: This joke only makes sense if you read it backwards.

If someone hates you for no reason, punch them in the face.

Now they will hate you for a reason.

Wife: I hate you. Get out, I never want to see you again!

I hope you have a long and miserable life.

Husband: Now I’m confused. Do you want me to stay or not?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Disney+ and Pornhub?

Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.

Life: Why do people love me and hate you?

Death: *scoffs* Have you met the millennials?

Q.What to do when people hate you for no reason?

Ans: punch them in the face.....now they will hate you for a reason.........better right?

I'm not saying I hate you...

but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three couples in line to enter the Pearly Gates…

St. Peter addresses the first couple. He reads from the big book and finally looks up at the man and says with a dripping sarcasm, “You want to get into heaven? You were the cheapest son of a gun who ever lived! You didn’t give to charity. You didn’t help out family members. You were so obsessed wit...

When you hate your friend nasaur

Dinosaur

How do you get whole race to hate you?

Blow up the finish line. (I figured 2 years was long enough)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm not saying I hate you...

I'm not saying I hate you, but if I were locked in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and you, and I had 2 bullets, I would shoot Hitler and Bin Laden and then say loads of mean things about your mother.

A wife is yelling at her husband

"Get out of the house! I hate you, I want a divorce! Get out!"

As he walks out the door she screams: "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"

The guy says: "So hang on a minute, now you want me to stay?"

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