UPJOKE

Hard To Get Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The kids asked what was for dinner and I told them "Scraps". They started crying. Spoiled brats, it's really hard to get food at the moment thanks to the panic buying.

And it was a stupid name for a dog anyway.



(Obligatory thank-you edit for the silver!)

(Narwhal! Narwhals are cool!)

What do you call something that’s easy to get into, but hard to get out of?

Trouble.

Why do rappers try so hard to get your attention?

To diss-track you.

What’s hard to get into, but even harder to get out of?

A shower in winter.

Some girls play hard to get

Well, not me,
I play hard to want.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is it so hard to get a qsn stick in the right way

Fuck, I mean usb stick.

Why is it so hard to get into a relationship with an SJW?

Because they have high double standards.

It must be hard to get a job at an animal hospital.

They have good vetting procedures.

Why is is so hard to get a pearl from an oyster?

Because they’re a little shellfish.

Why are seismologists so hard to get along with?

Because they're sensitive to a fault.

logician joke (hard to get)

3 logicians walk into a bar. The blonde bartender smiles and says with a mock sigh,

'Hmmm.. Logicians again. I think you're all cute, but you're not ALL going to try to pick me up, are you?'

The first logician says: 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the other two.

The second...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s not that hard to get into the Naval Forces

I mean, we were all semen at one point.

Some women love playing hard to get.

Closing their blinds, locking their doors, calling the police...

I'm trying really hard to get a job at the moisturizer factory

I'm applying twice a day

I saw where Sanders withdrew from yet another Presidential race after he worked so hard to get where he was...

The Bern out is real

They say it's hard to get over your ex

I think say 60mph does the job pretty well

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was it so hard to get out of R. Kelly’s sex cult?

Because once you’re in, urine.

What do you call a Greek philosopher who plays hard to get?

A socra-tease

Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week

I thought I finally found a girl who wouldn't play hard to get.

Then my roommate filled my blow-up doll with helium.

Why did the zombie child find it hard to get out of bed?

He was a little stiff.

As an Australian student coming to America to study, I found it hard to get through customs...

"G'day, I'm here to study at uni."

"Which university are you going to, son?

"Yale, mate"

"I SAID WHICH UNIVERSITY ARE YOU GOING TO, SON?!?!"

Why is it so hard to get rid of a hippie?

When you ask them if they want to go home, they usually say "Namaste"

Is it hard to get a degree in hocking loogies?

Well, it's snot rocket science.

Why is it so hard to get a comb from a bald man?

Because they never part with them

My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath,

"Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.