UPJOKE

Hard To Explain Jokes

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

Because they always take things literally.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes things are hard to explain

The Farmer wants to milk his cow in the barn. He puts his stool next to the cow and the bucket below it. As he starts milking the cow kicks the bucket with the left leg. After a while the farmer is pissed off and takes a rope to fix the cow's leg to a pole. Yet before he can start milking again the ...

Why is it so hard to explain a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They don't understand the subtle nuances of the English language, so they can't pick up on the double entendres needed to appreciate a good pun. It may be a generalization, but in my experience that's how it works out.

As an American it’s hard to explain my difficulty in learning the metric system.

It’s in tenths.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is caught by a ranger eating a Bald Eagle...

A guy is caught by a ranger eating a Bald Eagle and is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation went something like this:

Judge: "Do you know that eating a Bald Eagle is a federal offense?"

Man: "Yes, I did. But if you let me argue my case, I'll...

Sam: Hey Dave, I saw something really weird last night in the woods.

Dave: Oh yeah? What’d you see?

Sam: We’ll it’s kinda hard to explain, except it looked like a group of older women gathered around a fire, doing these weird chants and they started to get naked.. I mean that could only mean one thing..

Dave: Which is?

Sam: Exactly

What do you call an incredibly strong STD?

Herpules

(This joke has been brought to you by my 14 yr old son)

Three workers digging a ditch

Bob and John are in the ditch digging and Bill is standing above them supervising. Bob says to John, "How come we're down here doing all the work and Bill is just watching us and getting paid more than we are?" John says, "I don't know, why don't you ask him?" Bob says, "That's just what I'm going t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The professor of statistics and logistics.

So a friend told me this joke. It was created by Norm MacDonald. Hopefully I don't butcher it. Also, I'm on mobile, so I apologize if it's weirdly formatted.

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A new guy moves into a cul de sac. One of the neighbors comes up to him and starts small talk.

"So what...

Anyone know any good anti jokes?

Anti jokes are basically jokes that are so serious and deliberately not funny to the point where they are funny. Yeah its hard to explain. But I was looking for some good ones that aren't already on the anti joke website so share them if you know any.

A rural farmer saves enough money to send his son to college

He moves out of town and after his first year he returns for summer break.

His father was elated to see him and eager to hear about what he had learned:

Father: So tell me all 'bout whatcha been lernin'?

Son: Aw Paw, you don't want to hear about that. Besides, it's a bit complic...

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