UPJOKE

Getting Up Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.

Edit: Yes, yes MILLIONS. I wasn't sure if those sources were true or not when I posted.

Also, the spam from the Trump people is great. I feel like I'm on the *real*...

I'm a masochist. There's nothing I love more than getting up at 3 in the morning for a cold shower.

So I don't.

Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?

Because Dawn is tough on Greece

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work.

His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.

So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.

Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerful...

Skid Row is really getting up there in years.

They used to sing how they "Can't Stand the Heartache."

Their new song just released was titled, "Can't Stand the Heartburn."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We are getting up there in age

And my wife said to me, "My best attributes used to be my breasts, but they have been letting me down."

Some days I don't feel like getting up and going to work...

I call those weekdays.

I’ve done some terrible things for money.

Like getting up early to go to work. ‬

My summer job in high school involves getting up at 1 in the morning with a glass of water and a paintbrush.

It isn’t very high paying, but I make dew.

I wish I could see what mischief my students are getting up to at the far end of the school yard.

Alas, I've never had good pupils.

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