UPJOKE

Getting Ahead Jokes

Getting ahead in the world is getting more expensive.

For example, where I live you can't get romaine for under $10.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

So Satan asks God to let him back into Heaven...

God says "Satan, you've betrayed me before, but I am a just and forgiving god. You may get back into Heaven, if you can beat my only son in a programming contest."

Satan and Jesus meet to agree to the terms. The contest is a simple one. God will set a timer for six hours, and both Jesus and S...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

2020 Holiday Album

We're getting ahead of the curve and releasing this year's 2020 Holiday Album including such hits as:

1- Baby It's Covid Outside

2- Walking In A Pandemic Wonderland

3- Grandma Got Ran Over By A Protestor

4- Karen, Did You Know

5- Zoom Christmas

6- Frosty The...

Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...

Ah, Iā€™m getting ahead of myself

Now that this girl has given me head..

She's getting ahead of herself.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Little Johnny was in class one friday.....

The teacher said we'll play a game, whoever answers my questions correctly can leave early for the weekend. The first question was, who started a speech with "four score and seven years ago "? Several kids raised their hand and little Johnny was waving his hand frantically in the back of the class....

I tried living in the future

But I kept getting ahead of myself

I was contemplating engineering a newer, more advanced clone of my brain...

But then I realized I was getting ahead of myself.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

We're making self portrait masks in art class.

I think I'll get an A+.

I could just be getting ahead of myself.

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