UPJOKE

Get Injure Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought it was impossible to get injured while masturbating...

But I think I've pulled it off.

Where do you go if you get injured playing peek-a-boo?

The ICU

Sawmill workers get injured less often than you might think.

At least they can count the incidents on their fingers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do 40,000 people get injured by their toilets each year?

Because the toilets are done taking their shit.

What is it called when you're on vacation in the U.S. and you get injured?

Debt.

A captain is about to lead his troops into battle.

"Porter," says the captain, "I want you to bring my red jacket."


"Why your red jacket, Sir?" replies the porter.


"Well, you see..." the captain explains, "I wear my red jacket into battle so that during the fight, when I get injured, my men don't see me bleed and lose morale."<...

A sea captain and his seamen...

Were out protecting the coast from pirates. As they were sailing, they spot one pirate ship. The captain yells to his seaman

"Everyone prepare for battle" and he calls for first mate and says "First mate, bring me my red coat"

The first mate brings the red coat and they beat the pirate...

Pirate captain's red shirt.

A man wanted to become a pirate so he joined a crew. Over time he ended up becoming first mate under an infamous captain. One evening a rival ship issued a challenge. The captain asked his first mate to grab his red shirt. He grabbed the shirt and they fought their rival and won. The next day two sh...

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