UPJOKE

Get Comfortable Jokes

As I sat in my airplane seat for the 16 hour flight, I tried to get comfortable.

Then I remembered that I was in economy.

A few years ago I was studying abroad...

...in Egypt. I was attending a beautiful university in the capital city, having a wonderful time.

One day I had a pretty important test to take, and I stayed up way too late cramming for it. I slept terribly and woke up with a crick in my neck and pain all throughout my back and shoulders. <...

An oil prospector is waiting at the gates of heaven.

St. Peter had some bad news for an oil prospector who appeared at the pearly gates of heaven: “You’re qualified for admission,” said St. Peter, “but, as you can see, the section for oil prospectors is packed. There’s no way to fit you in.”

After a moment, the prospector asked to say just four...

My girlfriend kept insisting that I give her a ring...

It took a while to get comfortable with the idea \(it was a really big decision for me\), but finally I got enough courage to dial the number and have an actual telephone conversation with her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A married couple are sailing with a young tour guide.

There's a sudden storm and the boat gets destroyed. Luckily, all three of them survive and manage to swim towards a small island.

Once they've caught their breath, the tour guide speaks. "Let's take turns keeping watch for any ships that come by for help. I'll climb up that palm tree and keep...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, I was at a bar, and I met a girl who told me she was into fetishes... (NSFW)

She said she liked kinky sex and fetishes, and I told her I was into fetishes and stuff. We talk for a while longer and after a few more drinks, we ended up at her apartment. She told me to get comfortable while she went to the bathroom to change into something more "fun". As she came out of the b...

The blonde and the lawyer.

A blonde is sat on a plane waiting for everyone to sit down and to get airborne. A guy in an expensive looking suit sits along side her and introduces himself.
Disinterested, she says hi and turns towards the window.
He asks if she'd like to play a game. She says no.
Just after take off ...

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