I asked my wife to fake an accent from a developed country tonight...

to fullfill my fantasy that we have healthcare.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Guys Die and Get to go to Heaven (long)

So they're waiting for God to get to and judge/reward them. God finishes with others and gets to them. Standing before them, he says, "Alright. You three get to go to heaven. Here's what's gonna happen. You think carefully and tell me what you would really love for the rest of eternity. I will set a...

A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.

A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.
"Now I will fullfill your 3 wishes" - he said.
"I wish two lines of the best stuff on the world. Let's take it together, it will be great."
"Ok, that was your first wish. Don't waste all of them on drugs" - genie said and two lines of the best stu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tarzan and Jane

After having lived alone in the forest for a lot of time, and with just the holes in the trees to fullfill his sexual desires, Tarzan meets Jane.

She finds him while he is fucking a tree hole, and she starts feeling horny. She suddenly takes off her clothes and says:

"Tarzan, fuck me!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.

"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.

"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."

The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will so...

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