UPJOKE

Four Finger Jokes

My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, “Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I’ll be this August!” I chuckled, “Oh I don’t know princess, why don’t you tell me?” She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers.

It’s now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won’t say where she got them!

My Daughter woke me up.

My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night.
"Daddy," she whispered, tugging my shirt sleeve.
"Guess how old I'm going to be next month.
"I don't know," I said as I slipped on my
glasses. "How old?"
She smiled and held up four fingers.
It is 7:30 now. My wife and I have been up wit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ted's new girlfriend tell him to put a finger in her.

"Put a finger in me," said Tammy. Ted obliges her and puts a finger in her vagina.

"Now put another one in," she says and ted puts a second finger in.

"Now three."

"Now four," Ted continues to oblige and has four fingers in.

"Just put the whole hand in," Ted now inserts h...

A Babylonian walks into a bar

holds up four fingers and says "Twelve beers please"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A deaf-mute walks up to a foursome on the first hole at St. Andrews

He hands one of the players a card that says, “I am a deaf-mute, playing as a single, may I play through?”   
  
The player, a total jerk, shakes his head no and points the deaf-mute to go back and wait his turn.
  
A few holes later, the jerk gets hit in the head by a golf ball while ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A John Picks up a Hooker..

A John picks up a hooker. They're on their way to the motel when she just can't stop talking about how awesome her pussy is. They get to the room. She takes off her clothes. She says to the guy, "Put a finger in." He does. "Put two fingers in." He does. "Put four fingers in." He does. "Put your hand...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man was driving down the highway...

When he sees the siren of a police car appear behind him. The police officer pulls the man over and asks for his license and registration, the man, obviously upset, hands the information to the officer, the officer then asks, -Do you know why I pulled you over?-
_
The man knew why. "I understa...

How many fingers does the Dragonborn have? (x-post from r/gaming)

Four fingers and a thu'um.

A deaf-mute goes golfing

...at a country club (it's Sunday, and open to the public) and is having a pretty good game. So good, in fact, that he ends up having to wait on a member playing ahead of him.
He politely waits on the slow golfer, but eventually gets fed up with the delay. So he writes a note, and gives it to the...

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