UPJOKE

4 Finger Jokes

What has 4 fingers, a thumb, and is not your hand?

My hand

Only 4 fingers

My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, “Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I’ll be in August!” I said, “Oh I don’t know princess, why don’t you tell me?” She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers!
It’s now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she still won’t say where she...

My daughter woke me

My daughter woke me up around 11:30 last night, tugging on my nightshirt.....
Daughter: Daddy guess how old I'll be next week.
Me: how old, sweetie?
Daughter: (holding up 4 fingers) this many years old.....

It's now 7:30 in the morning and my wife and I still haven't convinced our da...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three women are sat at a bar, discussing the damage done by childbirth

Three women are sitting at a bar, all discussing life post childbirth. They get into a heated debate regarding who has the most stretched up pussy. Woman one claims that post childbirth she’s able to fit 4 fingers into it.

“That’s nothing!” Claimed woman 2, who proceeds to disclose she’d bee...

My daughter asked how old she will be next month.

My daughter woke me around 11:50pm last night. My wife and I picked her up from her friend Sally’s birthday party, brought her home and put her to bed. My wife went to the bedroom to read and I fell asleep watching basketball.

“Daddy”, she whispered tugging my shirt.

“Guess how old I’l...

A cowboy and a Roman soldier walked to a bar, and the bartender is deaf....

... The cowboy wanted 4 beers, so he showed 4 fingers and the roman soldier wanted 4 beers so he showed 3 fingers

What is the difference between a girl from London and a Kitkat?

You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.

Translated version

The math teacher was new to the elementary class so he just wanted to know how good are the kids in basic calculation. He picked a random student and started asking questions.
Math teacher : What's 2+2?
The kid opens 2 fingers in both his hands and counts and says "4 sir."
Math teacher : W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW So I was with this girl...

and while fingering her I noticed how loose she was.

Feeling adventurous I decided to try for 4 fingers - no problem. After a few seconds I thought I'd see if she could handle my fist. She was going nuts and my fist went in without incident, so I decided to see how crazy I could get.
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