Four guys are in a bar; one of them has a completely flat head. The other three keep buying him drinks, each time loudly proclaiming, "And another for the Polish hero here!"
Finally the bartender asks what's up. "None of us would be here if it weren't for our Polish friend," says one guy. "W...
Me: Please bring me a screwdriver.
Wife: Flat heads, Phillips, or Vodka?
And that was when I knew she was the one.
Then there was the handicapped honors student in our school.
Since kindergarten his dad had given him a quarter and a pat on the head for each A he got. By the time he graduated, he had $500 in the bank and a flat head.
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