Our soccer team is so bad that our opponents hit the bar three times in the first half of today’s match.
They could have at least waited till the end to celebrate.
Boss asked me to swap the first half of the brochure with the second.
I was like, sure bro.
If you had told me back on NYE all the sh*t that’d happen in the first half of 2020...
I would’ve said, “Don’t July.”
This joke's idea comes from somewhere I can't remember. I was watching MKay's or FakeJake's video (It was several days ago, and they both post videos reading reddit post.) and I come across the first half of my joke (It isn't a joke, the person was actually asking for the advice through messages.)
Person A: Bro, I need your advice. How do I kindly reject a person. Person B has confessed to me, and I'm not ready yet. He's interesting, but I don't want to date, yet. I told him to wait until tomorrow for my answer.
A's Bro: Tell him, "You and I are reading the same book. But, you are seve...
The animals were bored.
Finally the lion had an idea. He tells the other animals how he's seen the humans play a game called American football. He proceeded to tell them how it's played and explained its rules. This got them excited.
They chose their teams and went out to an open field. The lion's team received, and...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Once upon a time...
A horse lived on a farm with a pig, a sheep, and a cow. Now these were no ordinary barnyard animals - for they were bestowed the miracle of Disney animal anthropomorphism - subsequently, the farmer was very happy to have these animals in his posession and the people who came afar to see them made hi...
National Jewish book day.
Today is national Jewish book day.
Interestingly, that's what Mike Pence calls the first half of the Bible.
My kinesiology professor likes to tell jokes in class that he hears from other professors, friends or family. This was today's gem. Warning, there's a lot of lead-up, but that's just how my teacher seems to tell jokes.
So there was a football game in the jungle between all of the big animals and all of the small animals, to see who was the best and would get the best spots at the watering hole. In the first half of the game, the small animals were getting obliterated--they couldn't gain a single yard on the big an...
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