UPJOKE

First Graders Jokes

A group of first graders come in from recess

Once they all sat down the teacher grabbed a piece a chalk and walked to the chalkboard. "Jimmy, what did you do for recess?" Jimmy replied, "I played in the sandbox." "Very good, the teacher said, If you can come to the board and spell sand I will give you a cookie". Jimmy approaches the board and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a teacher decided she wanted to have her first graders use "grown-up" words.

Teacher: "Ok class, what did you do this weekend?"

Lisa: "I saw a choo-choo!"

Teacher: "No Lisa, you saw a train. Remember, we're using grown-up words! What about you, Johnny?

Johnny: "I read a book!"

Teacher: "Really? What book did you read?"

Johnny: "Winnie the s...

Miss Annie was teaching Sunday school to a group of first graders.

She explained that Easter would come soon, and asked if anyone knew which holiday Easter was.

Little Suzie asked, “Is that the holiday where we get a tree, and everyone gets presents?”

Miss Annie said, “No that is Christmas.”

Little Billy asked, “Is that the holiday where we hav...

Why do first graders make terrible gardeners?

Because they can't weed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Priest and a Rabbie fly with a class of first graders on a plane.

Suddenly something happened and the plane is falling down.

Rabbie: "We have only two parachutes! We need to jump!"

Priest: "But what about all those kids?"

Rabbie: "Fuck the kids!"

Priest looks nervously around...

"Do we have time?"

(Translated from polish) During a math class, teacher was asking first graders how many watermelons could they lift if one of them weighted about 3kg

Teacher: How many watermelons could you lift Sarah?

-I can lift one watermelon in my hands.

Teacher: Very good. What about you Tom?

-I could lift two watermelons! First one in my left hand and second one in my right hand.

Teacher: Great! And you Jonathan?

-I could ...

Place Value

This is not so much of a joke as an amusing true story.

I was teaching math to some first graders, and we had been discussing place value for the past week.

It was Friday and I had been explaining that a 1 in the one's place is worth 1, but a 1 in the ten's place was worth 10.

S...

A teacher asked the class

A teacher asked the class of first graders for the ones which was idiots to stand up.

After a short while 1 of the students stood up, then the teacher asked him

"Do you think you're an idiot?"

the student then responded

"No, I just felt bad that you had to stand alone"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I talked to my schoolteacher friend the other day.

She’s a schoolteacher in San Diego.

On the first day of school, she asked all of her first graders how many of them were San Diego Charger fans.

Of course, all of her kids raised their hands, except this one girl.

She looked at the girl curiously and asked, “Why aren’t you a Ch...

One Day, All the Children in Ms. Jennifer's Class Were Learning About Politics

Ms. Jennifer began the lesson, "We'll start with the liberal party. Liberals believe in equality for all and that everything should be fair."

Now, this sounded pretty grand to all the first graders, so when Ms. Jennifer asked, "Which of you are Liberals like me?" The result was nearly unanimo...

Kids

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lifesavers

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) Of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers. The children began to identify the flavours by their colour:

Red......................Cherry

Yellow..................Lemon

Green....................Lime

Orange...............

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.