I have a fear of overly intricate buildings.

I have a complex complex complex.

What do you call the fear of giants?

FeeFiPhobia

I have a fear of speed bumps.

But I am slowly getting over it.

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Last week I told a therapist that I was trying to overcome my fear of ghosts.

His answer left me scared since then.


"That's the spirit."

I'm going into therapy to deal with my fear of escalators, but it shouldn't take long ...

It's only a one step program.

Germany is telling its citizens to stock up on sausages and cheese as fear of COVID grows.

It's the wurst-kase scenario.

What do you call the fear of Vietnamese soup noodles?

pho-bia

A lady with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously , she asks a crew member 'just how far away from land are we?' Calmly, he reassures her ' you have nothing to worry about ,we're only 5 kilometers from land.' Relieved, she inquires 'oh, in which direction?'

That would be straight down, Miss........

I hate having a fear of going to sleep...

It gets really tiring.

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them.

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I hit a wall trying to cope with my irrational fear of sex

But I eventually got over the hump

I have an irrational fear of modern architechture

My doctor says I have a complex complex complex.

I have an irrational fear of overengineered buildings arranged near each other

It's a complex complex complex

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I went to see the doctor about my crippling fear of palindromes.

Bastard put me on Xanax!

What is the fear of chainsaws called?

Common sense

Guys, bad news... I have been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Docs call it feefiphobia.

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My therapist says I can get over my fear of buffets.

But first I’ve got to want to help myself.

What do you call the fear of being trapped in a chimney?

Claus-trophobia.

I have a fear of negative numbers...

I'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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An East End gang boss had always been very careful with whom he employed, for fear of being grassed up...

He thought he'd been really clever in hiring a crooked accountant who was deaf and dumb. There wasn't
much of a risk that he would overhear too much. However, it quickly dawned on the boss that
someone was stealing money from him. A lot of money. And it didn't take long for him to discover it<...

I have a great fear of stairs

I just always feel they are up to something

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Me: I have a fear of the Backstreet Boys

Therapist: tell my why

Me: *shrieks in terror*

We’ve been trying to organize a Fear of Commitment workshop.

But we just can’t seem to nail down a date.

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Therapist: I think you have a pathological fear of getting married. Do you understand the symptoms?

Man: I can’t say I do.

Therapist: Exactly!

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I finally got over my fear of masturbation.

It felt great.

People said that I have irrational fear of lies.

Bu I'm afraid that is not true

For fear of a fate worse than death, don't look back.

Because hindsight is always 2020

My doctor recommended exposure therapy to get over my fear of being insulted, so she set me up with a specialist.

It turned out to be a great diss appointment.

I have a fear of numbers which aren't the ratio of two integers.

It's really irrational.

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[At the therapists] Man: Doc, I think I’m finally over my fear of the supernatural.

Therapist:That’s the spirit!

Man: Holy shit! Where?

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My fear of palindromes is really affecting my life.

I asked the doctor if he could prescribe me anything.
That bastard gave me Xanax...

I have this pathological fear of two letter words.

I get incredibly scared just thinking about it.

So i thought i could get over my fear of math jokes

But in the end i was 2^2 to tell it.

I have a fear of over complicated industrial facilities

It's a complex complex complex

Fear of Covid-19 is a wonderous thing for workers.

A wee cough gives a week off.

Today I conquered my fear of public speaking and gave a rousing, powerful speech about how nobody likes a quitter.

...aaaand they kicked me out of the 12-step program.

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A magician with a fear of negative numbers went to see a therapist

She told hin that the root of his fear was imaginary

I've developed an irrational fear of escalators.

I always find myself taking steps to avoid them.

My irrational fear of moving stairs seems to be getting worse.

You might say it’s… escalating.

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I was talking to my therapist about my irrational fear of letters.

Me: So, I'm afraid of random letters...

Therapist: You are?

Me: *Screams*

Therapist: Oh, I see...

Me: *Screaming intensifies*

What is the fear of palindromes called?

Aibohphobia.







It's funny because it's true.

I have an unusual fear of Semi-trucks

I guess you could call me antisemitic.

What do you call an unreasonable fear of spiders?

An Irachtional fear.

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Me: I have a fear of abbreviated US state names

Therapist: OH, OK

I have a fear of intimacy.

It’s kind of a touchy subject.

I don’t have a fear of heights

It’s just that when I’m up real high, I got a problem with gravity

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Fear of the show friends

Me: I’m afraid of the show Friends

Therapist: Dont worry I’ll be there for you

Me: *screams*

The swordfish doesn't have any natural predators to fear of ...

... except for the penfish, which is thought to be even mightier.

I have an irrational fear of warrior princesses from different places.

You could say I'm xenaphobic

What is the scientific name for a child's fear of sitting on Santa's lap at the mall?

Claustrophobia

While sports fishing off the Florida coast in Key West, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber walking on the shore, the tourist shouted,

“There wouldn’t by chance be any
alligators in these waters?!”“No,” the old man hollered back, “haven’t been any for years!” Feeling relieved, the tourist
started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway toward shore he asked the old man,
“Say, how’d you get rid of the gators, any...

'You have a fear of marriage, do you know the symptoms?' ...

'I can't say I do'..

If Bruce Wayne overcame his fear of bats by becoming his phobia...

why am I still afraid of failure?

A friend has a fear of pi.

I keep telling him it's irrational, but he doesn't listen.

Me: I'm here for medication to help with my fear of the spice girls

Doctor: we have 3 types so tell me what you want

Me[screams]

The biggest fear of flat-Earthers...

...is sphere itself

Whoever named the irrational fear of long words,

didn't have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

My wife asked why I carried a gun around the house. I told her : Fear of CIA.

She laughed, I laughed, the Amazon echo laughed.

I shot the echo.

I went to the doctor to see why I had such a big fear of snakes...

He said I have a reptile dysfunction.

Mathematician: Doctor, I have a fear of the irrational

Doctor: Don't worry mate, all the things u worry about are just imaginary

Mathematician: That makes it even worse!

What is the biggest fear of a suicide bomber?

Dying Alone.

What do you call a fear of over-engineered buildings?

A complex complex complex

Credit to some guy named Slow Poke on YouTube

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I have eurotophobia (fear of women genitalia) and my therapist tells me I should confront my fear more

But every time I try I always end up beating around the bush

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.

So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I've got problems.

"Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year" said the psychiatrist. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to ...

I have a fear of long distances

I go to great lengths to avoid them.

I used to have a fear of vaulting...

But then I got over it.

(Vaulting as in gymnastics)

My one friend has a fear of clowns....

...so I took him to McDonald’s and now he’s not afraid anymore, but now he has a weight problem.

Have you heard about the man with an irrational fear of empty spaces?

Nothing scares him

What do you call the fear of gambling a pack of 13 cards?

Risk-a-deck-aphobia.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I realize i have an irrational fear of rats.

I didn't realize there would be so much wildlife in this city.One late night I was walking past this huge pile of garbage.Inside one of the trash bags there was a lot of movement.Really aggressive.It was starting to scare the shit out of me.My only thought was,"Oh God,I hope it's a baby.Please,plea...

I was recently diagnosed with a fear of all things Italian...

My psychiatrist named it "atsalottaphobia."

I have a deep-seated fear of running water.

Or any liquid with legs really.

Two prawns are in the ocean discussing their hatred and fear of sharks

One prawn is called George and the other is called Christian. One day while discussing their fear of sharks, a nearby cod overhears them and swims over to talk to them. The cod promises to grant George one wish. George decides he wants to be a shark, so wishes to become a shark. The cod grants Georg...

Did you hear about the guy with a fear of subtraction?

He made no difference.

My friend keeps asking me why I have such a fear of 'No Entry' signs

I say "Don't go there"

I have a fear of highly sophisticated engineering constructs

It's a case of Complex Complex Complex

My one friend has a fear of clowns...

...so I took him to the White House and now he’s not afraid anymore. On the ride home, however, he kept quoting Alex Jones.

Instead of using the fear of prison to dissuade criminals, we should start making them eat Tide Pods.

That would be a real crime detergent.

Studies show that a fear of spiders means that you're more likely to find them in your bed...

... Then I should mention that I have a fear of beautiful women with long legs

Two guys in an asylum decide one night they're sick of living there, and decide to escape. They make their way to the roof, and just across this tiny gap are the rooftops of the town, glowing in the moon light. Freedom The first guy jumps right across but his pal didn't dare for fear of falling.

However, the first guy has an idea...
He says "Hey! I got my flashlight! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!"

The second guy just shakes his head and says: "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn off the light when I was halfw...

I've developed a new treatment for the fear of spiders:

You eat a steak, then you open your mouth and let a spider eat off the little pieces of meat remaining between your teeth. After repeating this three times, the spider is no longer afraid that you might bite it.

I have a fear of dying from unnatural causes.

I mean think about it like this, two guys are in heaven are talking about how they died.

Guy 2: How'd you die man?

Guy 1: Well after a strong 88 years, I decided I'd let myself succumb to the cancer I had been battling for 11 years. What about you?

Guy 2: Giant nuclear laser bla...

Public speaking is the #1 fear of the average person. #2 is death.

This means that at a funeral, more people would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.

-Jerry Seinfeld

I struggle with an intense fear of becoming disabled

It's crippling

Overcoming the fear of parachuting.

A man always wanted to go skydiving, but was never able to gather the courage. He goes to the local airport and inquires about what is involved in the jump.

The manager explainxs the procedure to him -- “We are expert parachute packers, and have never had a failure. We take you up in the pl...

What's the greatest fear of a pianist that has children and lives next to a road?

A-flat minor.

I convinced my girlfriend to get over her fear of skydiving...

Her funeral is on Tuesday.

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