UPJOKE

My wife always accuses me of having a favorite child.

It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.

I remember my mother telling me, “I have no favorite child.”

Harsh seeing as I’m an only child.

Naming your favorite Beatle is like declaring your favorite child.

It's George.

Its pretty easy to tell who my dad's favorite child is.

Mostly because I'm an only child.

I asked my mother who was her favorite child...

She thought for a second and said, "Do I have to pick one of mine?"

"Mommy?" little Johnny asks, "who is your favorite child?"

His mom replies: "Johnny, you know I can't answer this. I don't have a favorite child."

"But mommy," Johnny says, "I am your only child."

Password security questions for the depressed

What is the name of your least favorite child?

In what year did you abandon your dreams?

What is the maiden name of your father’s mistress?

At what age did your childhood pet run away?

What was the name of your favorite unpaid internship?

In what city did you first...

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