Father O'malley Jokes

But he can't leave his parish alone, so he asks his friend, Rabbi Goldstein, to sit in for him, at least for confessions. The rabbi agrees, but of course he doesn't know how it works, so he asks to sit with the father for a confession.

"Oh father, forgive me, for I have sinned."

"Well... read more

They asked for his assistance. He said he’d be happy to oblige.


“Thank you, Father. Do you happen to know a Ted Houlihan?”


“I do.”


“Is he a member of your congregation?”


“He is.”


“Tell me, did Mr. Houlihan really donate $10,000 to the church?”... read more

An Irish Priest is Transferred to Iola, Texas.

He rose from his bed one morning; It was a fine spring day in his new West Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in ... read more

That Friday, the man grills out on his patio, filling the neighborhood with the mouthwatering aroma of seared steak. All his neighbors, being practicing Catholics, are obliged to abstain from eating meat on Fridays during Lent. Needless to say, they aren't particularly happy about it. The next Frida... read more

"Look!" he says. "Father O'Malley is golfing on Sunday!"

Jesus smiles and holds out his hands in blessing. Moments later the Father drives off the first tee and holes in one. When the Father retrieves his ball and goes to the second tee, Jesus again holds out his hands in blessing and the F... read more

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,0... read more