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Farewell Speech Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The elder statesman was giving his farewell speech.

"And when I die, bury my head in Central Pennsylvania, for that was where I had my brightest ideas. Bury my hands in Washington, D.C., for that was where I accomplished the most work. Bury my feet on the West Coast, for that was where I ran the hardest."
Just then, a journalist interrupted, "Sir,...

I was having trouble writing my farewell speech...

A guy said, "If you give me $20 I'll write the speech for you."
I said, "That's a good buy."

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