UPJOKE

Expectant Mother Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three expectant mothers are sitting in the doctor's office, knitting... [warning: offensive!]

\[I once killed a party with this joke. You have been warned!\]

Three expectant mothers are sitting in the doctor's office, knitting.

The first mother puts down her knitting, picks up her handbag, pulls out a bottle of pills, takes one, then resumes knitting. She sees the other two mot...

Why couldn’t the expectant mother cow run?

It didn’t have calves.

Expectant mothers of Reddit, name your child Gotham.

Then when they wake up at 3am you can roll to your Husband or Partner and say ‘Gotham needs you!’ and they will get up.

Three expectant mothers are in a doctors waiting room...

They are sitting there quietly knitting jumpers for their babies. After a while they start to chat, and ask each other what supplements they are taking for their babies. The first says "I'm taking calcium so my baby has strong teeth and bones". The second says "I'm taking Vitamin B so my baby grows ...

What did the baby eating cannibals say in the hospital to the expectant mothers?

Fetus!!!

Three Pregnant Ladies

Three pregnant women were waiting in the doctor’s waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for their respective babies.



Suddenly the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.

<...

To sum up healthcare in America

An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500."

He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn.

A week pas...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bringing up Baby

Three expectant mothers sat in the obstetrician's office, knitting little sweaters for their impending children. One of them pops a pill in her mouth and the nurse asks, "What did you just take?"

"Iron." she replied. "I want my baby to have strong muscles!"


A second mother pops a p...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.