UPJOKE

Ever Wondered Jokes

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if you've ever wondered what it'd be like to be married ...

Find a woman who doesn't want to have sex with you, and buy her a house.

Ever wondered why starwars episode 4,5 and 6 came before episode 1,2 and 3.

Because, incharge of scheduling Yoda was

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Ever wondered why China has one of the largest populations ?

It's not because their men are hornier or their women are sexier...

It's because their condoms are Made in China.

Ever wondered why China doesn't have a baseball team?

Because they ate all their bats.

Ever wondered why atheists don't solve exponential equations?

It's because they don't believe in higher powers.

Have you ever wondered why horses are so happy?

It’s because they have a stable home life.

Have you ever wondered...

If sperm whales are the reason the ocean is salty?

Have you ever wondered what MARINE stood for?

Muscles. Are. Required. Intelligence. Not. Essential.

Ever wondered why "I hate my life" is millennial humor?

As a Zoomer, I'm here to say that the phrase actually applies to members of Gen Z as well.

The only difference is that for millennials, it's funny.

I'm serious.

Ever wondered why there's no metal-made toilets?

Ask George R.R. Martin.

Ever wondered why Ayo & Teo always wore masks?

They knew in advance that Coronavirus would come

Ever wondered why scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forward, they'd end up face first in the boat

Ever wondered why bread is just like the sun?

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist

Ever wondered why china has over 1 billion population?

Cause the condom they use is "Made in china"

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Have you ever wondered why letters are used to define bra sizes?

{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!

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Have you ever wondered about why Planter's Peanuts killed off Mr. Peanut? What if there was another sex tape controversy?

That would be fucking nuts.

Have you ever wondered if zits are just God trying to speak to you in Braille?

Mine say, "Nobody will ever love you."

Ever wondered why only morons report being abducted by Aliens?

Because the Aliens don't keep the stupid ones.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be blind?

Well, my friends! Look no further...!

Ever wondered why written jokes about mailmen are generally unfunny?

They are all about delivery.

Have you ever wondered why people always tell you to sit down before telling you bad news?

It is because you won't stand for it.

Have you ever wondered about those people who pay a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water?

Try spelling Evian backwards!

Ever wondered why there were no knock knock jokes about America?

Freedom Rings.

Have you ever wondered why Severus Snape taught Potions and not Herbology?

It's because his Lily died.

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