I'm glad someone thinks I keep my house so clean, one could eat off the floors.

Too bad it's only my dog who thinks that.

What did Confederate soldiers used to eat off of?

Civil wear.

In my kitchen you could eat off the floor

You would always find something

Last week I took my grandma to the spa

For 20 bucks they have this tiny fish that eat off your dead cells. It was way cheaper than funeral

I've developed a new treatment for the fear of spiders:

You eat a steak, then you open your mouth and let a spider eat off the little pieces of meat remaining between your teeth. After repeating this three times, the spider is no longer afraid that you might bite it.

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