Dressed Up Jokes - 47 Hilarious Dressed Up Jokes

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My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest for suspicion of being good in bed.

After 2 minutes, all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

For Valentine's Day, my wife finally fulfilled a fantasy of mine when dressed up as a nurse.

At last, I got to roleplay having access to healthcare.

A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg.

The answer is the chicken.

For Halloween, a classmate dressed up as a stormtrooper and shot up the school.

Don’t worry, no one got hurt.

Barack Obama goes to a costume party while giving his wife a piggyback ride. Someone asks him what he’s dressed up as and he responds “I’m a snail!”

That’s M’Shell on my back

So there's this one kid at a costume party and the host ask what he was dressed up as. The kid told him that he dressed up as a harp, and the host told him that his costume is too small to be a harp.

The kid then said, "Are you calling me a lyre?"

My dad dressed up as The Invisible Man today

He's had the costume on for the last 20 years

My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes...

It’s like shooting fish in apparel...

what do you call a fish who's all dressed up?

So-Fish-Ticated

I dressed up as a gifted kid for Halloween.

When my neighbors asked what I was supposed to be, I sadly replied, "I was supposed to be a lot of things..."

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I dressed up as a wrench for Halloween

My wife got mad called me a fucking tool.

I went to a fancy dress party wearing a chicken costume, and there was a girl there dressed up as an egg!

So I said to her "are we going to find out, or what?"

A guy dressed up in an elf suit walks into a bar

"Could you name all of Santa's reindeer?" he asks the bartender. "Oh my God!" the bartender said with tears in his eyes. "It would be an honor."

Last Halloween, my friend Lucy dressed up like a cat burglar on a jewel heist.

Lucy….in disguise with diamonds.

A zoo in China denies using a man in a costume pretending to be a bear. But they do have a dog dressed up as a lion…

It’s a Shih Tzu.

What do you call Hulk dressed up as Captain America?

Star-Spangled Banner

I dressed up as a screwdriver this past Halloween.

It wasn't the best costume but I still turned a lot of heads.

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My premature ejaculation problem started when my other half dressed up as a superhero

Before I knew it I came in a Flash

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I just had sex with my girlfriend while dressed up as Julius Caesar

Not only did I came, but I saw, I conquered.

A drug dealer once dressed up as a mailman

He got caught immediately because he rung the doorbell once.

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

What do you call a bunch of kids all dressed up as batman?

Halloween at the orphanage.

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Two guys are getting ready for a costume party...

But there's a catch: The host said they have to get dressed up as 'emotions.'

So the first guy goes home and sticks his dick in a pear.

The second guy goes home and sticks his dick in a big bowl of custard.

They show up at the party together and knock on the door. The host opens...

What do you call a group of chickens dressed up like crows?

A murder most fowl.

(I'll see myself out...)

My sister dressed up as a deer for Halloween.

All my friends fawned over her

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What do you call two ghosts dressed up as bees for Halloween???

Boobees....

What do you call a snowman dressed up as a cop?

Just-ice.

Before our night out, my wife said that she didn't want me to get dressed up.

No point arguing with her.

So I slipped into my suit and tie while lying on the floor.

A recent widow, Elizabeth, gets dressed up in her mourning cloths and goes shopping for the week

She's known the butcher for years and says "Every year my husband insisted on a turkey for Easter. But now that he's dead, I can have whatever I want! I was thinking I'd do a nice roast or maybe a meatloaf. Is that traditional?"

The butcher just shakes his head. "No, black Betty. Ham or lamb...

I’m going to a friends get together dressed up as Bob Ross

I hope the night doesn’t lead to any “happy little mistakes”

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Naked farts are dangerous than dressed up farts

Since there won’t be nothing to hold your shit together

Yesterday I dressed up as a woman to further understand the struggles women deal with every day.

Apparently, women are often called a “cross-dressing weirdo”.

Hear about the male fly who dressed up in a white tux?

He was pretty white for a fly guy.

Who was the skeptical man who dressed up as a woman to spy on the Wright Brothers initial flight test?

Mrs. Doubtflyer

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I dressed up like a giant rooster and scared my wife.

Apparently she doesn’t like boo cocky.

What do Seattleites call a group of little kids dressed up as ghosts?

A micro-boo-ery!

I've dressed up as a wind turbine today. I love wind turbines.

I'm a big fan.

For a Halloween party I dressed up as a piece of bread

couldn't keep the birds away from me ;)

If you dressed up like a rodeo clown, broke into the capitol, and tried to destroy the democracy of the United States

You might be a redneck

My drug dealer dressed up as a Jehovah’s Witness in order to be less suspicious

However, he got arrested after the cops saw me let him in

My grandfather died and I inherited some of his clothes.

He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.

For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens o...

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Hardy, and Owen Wilson dressed up as musicians for a party.

Tom Hardy said, "I'll be Beethoven."

Owen Wilson said, "I'll be Mozart."

Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be Bach."

Father: wow son you're really dressed up! What's that around your neck?

Son: it's a Tide Ad

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I dressed up as an egg for a fancy dress competition

I went with a guy dressed like a chicken. We had sex at his place afterwords, and an age-old question was answered that day.

It was the chicken.

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My girlfriend dressed up as a police officer, handcuffed me to the bed, and told me I was under arrest for being good in bed.

Then she shot me seven times in the chest.

On my way home yesterday, I saw a guy with interesting hair dressed up as a Greek god.

He said his name was “Afro-dite”.

I should’ve dressed up as an A-10 pilot named Ernest for Halloween.

Then I could say I’m “Brrrrrrrrrrrrt and Ernie.”

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