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Did you hear about that guy from Footloose cannibalising that girl from Wendy’s?

Kevin Bacon ate ‘er.

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Did you hear about that guy who hated coal?

Never mined

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18

Did you hear about that guy who was sexually attracted to almonds?

He was fucking nuts.

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Did you hear about that guy that lost his ear in a construction accident?

They reconstructed it from pig skin, the sound quality is good but there's still a little bit of crackling...

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18

Did you hear about that guy, Richard, who went to Africa?

He was a real Dick in Djibouti.

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Did you hear about that guy who was crushed by his Honda?

Police say he died of his own Accord.

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Did you hear about that guy who got fired from the soda factory?

He got canned.

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Did you hear about that guy who had the entire left half of his body chopped off?

He's dead now.

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Did you hear about that guy who died from crushing a Coke in a hydraulic press?

It was soda-pressing.

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Did you hear about that guy who got the whole left side of his body paralyzed?

I heard he's all right now.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18

Did you hear about that guy who put 19 toy horses up his butt?

His condition is stable.

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Did you hear about that guy going around stealing everybody's Flamin' Hot Cheetos?

He was caught red-handed!

...I'll see myself to the door.

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Did you hear about that guy who made millions of dollars by donating all his beard hair?

He shaved a fortune

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