UPJOKE

Did you hear about that guy from Footloose cannibalising that girl from Wendyโ€™s?

Kevin Bacon ate โ€˜er.
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Did you hear about that guy who hated coal?

Never mined
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Did you hear about that guy who was sexually attracted to almonds?

He was fucking nuts.

Did you hear about that guy that lost his ear in a construction accident?

They reconstructed it from pig skin, the sound quality is good but there's still a little bit of crackling...
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Did you hear about that guy, Richard, who went to Africa?

He was a real Dick in Djibouti.

Did you hear about that guy who was crushed by his Honda?

Police say he died of his own Accord.
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Did you hear about that guy who got fired from the soda factory?

He got canned.
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Did you hear about that guy who had the entire left half of his body chopped off?

He's dead now.
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Did you hear about that guy who died from crushing a Coke in a hydraulic press?

It was soda-pressing.
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Did you hear about that guy who got the whole left side of his body paralyzed?

I heard he's all right now.
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Did you hear about that guy who put 19 toy horses up his butt?

His condition is stable.

Did you hear about that guy going around stealing everybody's Flamin' Hot Cheetos?

He was caught red-handed!

...I'll see myself to the door.
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Did you hear about that guy who made millions of dollars by donating all his beard hair?

He shaved a fortune
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