UPJOKE

Deep Thought Jokes

Deep thoughts

I wonder what fish tasted like before women started swimming.

I was sitting on the roof of my bus depot thinking deep thoughts when the cops arrested me.

Apparently they didn't want me getting ideas above my station.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Deep thoughts

Do cows know that we drink their milk or do they think we just like playing with their tits?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Deep Thoughts

Do you think that, when two police officers are having sex, they appreciate the fact that they are copulating?

Think deep thoughts when committing suicide in the ocean.

Just let that idea sink in a few minutes.

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old and crusty retired Army Master Sergeant was sitting by himself at a bar [mildly NSFW]

...when a beautiful blonde bombshell comes in the room. She noticed the old Master Sergeant right away. She finds him rugged and handsome, and sits down next to him.

"May I buy you a drink?" she asks him. He obliges.

She's obviously interested in him. The blonde says to him "So t...

I hope that if I ever get rich I won't be mean to poor people

Like I am now

(Dark, I know, but one of my favorite deep thoughts)

A recently divorced woman comes across a genie in a lamp

A recently divorced woman was walking along the beach, when she notices a lamp in the sand. She picks it up and rubs it, and out pops a genie. "I am the genie of this lamp," he said, "and I will grant you three wishes, but under one condition: whatever you receive, the person you hate the most will ...

One thing kids like is to be tricked.

For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse.

"Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke.

I started to drive over ...

Leave the horse and grab an apple

Once there was a king. He announced to all the men in his kingdom: "get a horse if you don't fear your wife else grab an apple from the basket".

All the men from the kingdom came turn by turn and grabbed apple. The king was in deep thought, no one is behaving manly.

At last, one man ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW A Welsh coal miner is met at the door by his obviously angry wife....

when he arrives still drunk from the weekend on Sunday morning.

She asked him: "Did you not get paid Friday for working all month?"

He replies (with a belch): That I did, my lovely woman!"

She glares back at him, "And how much of that month's pay do you have left?"

Barely...

Wish

Translated from my language, might contain mistakes, I apologize in advance.


Guy was walking on the beach and saw an Aladdin Lamp buried in the sand. He grabbed it, rubbed it till it got clean and genie came out and told him:

-You have freed me from the lamp, I can make one wish c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Well, it's a well story.

When I was in my 5th grade, my English teacher told this story.
Once there lived a landlord in a village.He was rich. He had a daughter which meant the world to him. One day while he was on his way to work, he heard the news that his daughter fell inside a well, while she was playing. He immediat...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.