UPJOKE

Dark Knight Jokes

What do you call the Dark Knight and a bowl of noodles?

Batman and Ramen

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The dark presence of the knight in black armor terrified the patrons of the inn. And he was sulking at the bar, clearly worried as he down the pint of ale.

He towered over the others who were also in the inn's bar, his armor covered in jagged spikes that were as lethal as the man-sized swords that hung from his back. His eyes glowed blood-red and a sickening black miasma poured through the small cracks in the plate armor. He even had a large pair of ho...

You either see The Dark Knight..

or live long enough to have all the good quotes ruined for you.

A lady and I once spent our 9th date seeing the dark knight rises

So to summarise our dating life it was like this, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Batman

What do you get when you cross 10 sodium particles with the Dark Knight?

Nananananananananana BATMAN!

I was delivering a sermon to my congregation the other day.

After I mentioned a rude joke that compared The Dark Knight Rises to the torturous pits of Hell, I saw one man angrily stand up and storm out. I was in complete shock.


It was the first time I’d ever seen a Christian Bale.

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Saw The Dark Knight Rises tonight. Thought back to this joke during a scene (NSFW)

Three missionaries get caught by cannibals, and the cannibals throw them in a bamboo jail.
The chief pulls one of them out of the bamboo jail and says, "You have two choice...death or bunga bunga."

The missionary thinks to himself, "I don't want to die...", so he says, "I'll take bunga bun...

Tom Hardy goes to a movie theater

Tom Hardy goes to a movie theater to rewatch his movie - the Dark Knight Rises. To avoid being recognized on the street, he rushes into the theater, forgetting to wear his mask. Before he gets far, one of the theater employees stops him. Tom thinks it’s one of his fans asking for an autograph but to...

What are Batman's insurance policies called as?

Dark Knight Returns

Alfred

I was at a party when a Chinese guy approaches me and asks “ Have you seen my cocaine?”
I said “ Not since he starred in The Dark Knight Rises!”

Obama

The Dark Knight (2008) The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Congratulations, Barack Obama.

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A man comes to the village...

and finds everyone fleeing from it, he grabs one villager and asks him why he's running away. Villager starts screaming at him to let him go that the black knight is coming. The man continues walking but already he's shivering as woman passes him screaming about the black knight.. Suddenly a large f...

The Expendables 2 Review:

I haven't seen that much shooting in a movie since I went to watch The Dark Knight Rises.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's a slow day of crime in Metropolis...

...and Superman is bored to tears. So he decides to fly over to Gotham City to see what Batman is up to. He gets to the Batcave to find the Dark Knight underneath the Batmobile.
"Hey, Bruce," he says. "Whatcha up to today? Wanna get a couple beers, maybe watch the game?"
"Sorry man, I can't," ...

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