UPJOKE

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Damn girl are you a math book?

Because you have a lot of fucking problems I don't want to deal with.

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Damn girl are you a Rubik's cube?

Because fuck you, you stupid piece of shit.

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Damn girl are you a newspaper?

Because there's a new issue with you every fucking day

Damn girl are you a smoke detector?

Because you're super annoying and won't shut up

Damn girl are you a piñata?

Because imma need a blindfold before I hit that

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Damn girl are you a parked car?

Because I would have to be drunk as fuck to hit that

Damn girl are you a windows update?

'Cause I'll do you later

Damn girl are you a cop?

Cause I want you to sit on my face

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Damn girl are you an amusement park

Because I see six red flags

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Damn girl are you syria?

She: Umm No, why?

Me: Because you got a lot of fucking problems but i wanna get involved any way.

Damn girl are you a Scientology Church?

Because after I come inside you I'm going to be thoroughly disappointed and end up paying large sums of money for the rest of my life just to leave.

damn girl are you chinese water torture

because this drip is driving me insane

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Damn girl are you a pink Himalayan salt lamp?

Cuz this clearly isn’t working and I still feel like shit when I’m around you.

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Damn girl are you a planet?

Because i can see Uranus through my binoculars at night.

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Damn girl are you a redditor?

Cause you just keep repeating the same shit

Damn girl are you an apple product?

Because you’re expensive and useless

Damn girl are you David Hasselhoff?

Because I wanna ride you like Spongebob and Patrick getting the crown to Bikini Bottom from Shell City to save the day and Mr. Krabs

Damn girl are you from Egypt?

Because A'frican love you.

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Damn girl are you the green fish from Spongebob season 2, episode 20: Sandy, Spongebob, and the Worm, at exactly 21:52?

Because I'm gonna eat that ass.

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Damn girl are you a Reddit user?

Cause when you post a title with a typo you can never fix that shit.

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Damn girl are you the cookie clicker app?

Because you're fucking stupid and I don't understand why you exist.

Damn girl are you a 'will to live'

because i'm never going to have you

damn girl Are you a forestry major

Cause I wanna take a DBH measurement

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Damn girl are you playboy magazine?

Cause holy fuck you have a pile of issues

Damn girl are you a slide in the ghetto?

Because I seriously regret going down on you.

Damn girl are you john wayne gacy’s floorboards?

Cause I wanna put some kids inside you

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