UPJOKE

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Damn girl are you a math book?

Because you have a lot of fucking problems I don't want to deal with.

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Damn girl are you a Rubik's cube?

Because fuck you, you stupid piece of shit.

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Damn girl are you a newspaper?

Because there's a new issue with you every fucking day

Damn girl are you a smoke detector?

Because you're super annoying and won't shut up

Damn girl are you a piñata?

Because imma need a blindfold before I hit that

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Damn girl are you a parked car?

Because I would have to be drunk as fuck to hit that

Damn girl are you a windows update?

'Cause I'll do you later

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Damn girl are you an amusement park

Because I see six red flags

Damn girl are you a cop?

Cause I want you to sit on my face

Damn girl are you a Scientology Church?

Because after I come inside you I'm going to be thoroughly disappointed and end up paying large sums of money for the rest of my life just to leave.

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Damn girl are you syria?

She: Umm No, why?

Me: Because you got a lot of fucking problems but i wanna get involved any way.

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Damn girl are you a redditor?

Cause you just keep repeating the same shit

Damn girl are you an apple product?

Because you’re expensive and useless

Damn girl are you David Hasselhoff?

Because I wanna ride you like Spongebob and Patrick getting the crown to Bikini Bottom from Shell City to save the day and Mr. Krabs

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Damn girl are you a pink Himalayan salt lamp?

Cuz this clearly isn’t working and I still feel like shit when I’m around you.

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Damn girl are you a planet?

Because i can see Uranus through my binoculars at night.

damn girl are you chinese water torture

because this drip is driving me insane

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Damn girl are you the cookie clicker app?

Because you're fucking stupid and I don't understand why you exist.

Damn girl are you a 'will to live'

because i'm never going to have you

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Damn girl are you a Reddit user?

Cause when you post a title with a typo you can never fix that shit.

Damn girl are you from Egypt?

Because A'frican love you.

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Damn girl are you the green fish from Spongebob season 2, episode 20: Sandy, Spongebob, and the Worm, at exactly 21:52?

Because I'm gonna eat that ass.

damn girl Are you a forestry major

Cause I wanna take a DBH measurement

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Damn girl are you playboy magazine?

Cause holy fuck you have a pile of issues

Damn girl are you a slide in the ghetto?

Because I seriously regret going down on you.

Damn girl are you john wayne gacy’s floorboards?

Cause I wanna put some kids inside you

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