Cheated On Jokes

Honestly, I should have seen the signs.

she’s some Juan else’s problem now.

and she says, "Well, the first time, remember when Dr. Smith said he we couldn't afford the operation, and then he changed his mind and did it for free?" He says yes, and forgives her. "And the second time, do you remember when our boy got a DUI, and the judge let him off with probation?" He says ye... read more

If your partner confesses that they cheated on you, I know the temptation is to ask, “with who?“

But that's inappropriate. Avoid it.

Instead ask, “with whom? “ It is important to speak good English.

“So no head?”

Guess you could say she liked Raw'men

An old married couple was sitting on a bench in a park. They have seen plenty of struggles and success in their long life together, and now were enjoying retirement.

"I have been faithful to you all these years, darling", the man continued, "I have sometimes wondered about your loyalty, but I... read more

Now it has crust issues.

St. Peter is waiting at the gates of heaven and calls the first man up.

Peter says, "You never cheated on your wife! I'm going to let you drive around heaven in a Ferrari!"

So he gets in the car and drives off through the gates.

Peter then called 2nd man up. Peter says, "Oh no, ... read more

I thought that was odd, but then I realised I was reading about Currant Affairs

She was way better at Calc 1b than me.

This is translated from Arabic, I don’t know if it’s going to be funny as in Arabic but I’ll try my best *fingers crossed*

A football player once asked his wife if she ever cheated on him, she answered with “yes, three times.” He then asked “Ok, tell me about the first time.” She said, “Do y... read more

Willing to sell her husband's fishing gear

Well, looks like she's on loan to my neighbor!

For a while I was at my break point until I realized it wasn’t my fault. Love means nothing to them.

He was a great guy

It ryes inside

I'm not sure if it's my wife or my girlfriend.

The angel at the gate asks the first man
"how many times did you cheat on your wife?" "10 times" the man answers. The angel gives him the keys to a 2010 Toyota Camry "this is how you will drive around heaven".
The second man says he cheated on his wife 5 times, the angel gives him a 2018 Lexus... read more

Too bad I'm a heavy sleeper, I couldn't feel them all night.

Wife: well if we are coming clean I cheated on you too

Husband: haha April First!

Wife: it was May 17

E: grammar

I gazed into the soul of the guy next to me.

I had an entanglement with Google.

Lets hope my other two are loyal.

So I went out that night and picked up a girl at the bar. I want to make all my girlfriend's dreams to come true

Sheeran

I hope she gives me another shot.

You know what, don't worry about it. She's out of the picture now anyway.

Now, that I have your attention, I would like to reach you about your pending car insurance loan........

She could handle the first three ho's but the last one was just too much.

I'd have 60 cents

So she rearranged all the furniture at the house.

I asked her how she could do such a thing and she said "He actually pays attention to me, he takes me out!" I replied, "That's because it's his job, honey."

He always had a bad taste for women.

In all fairness, I could’ve sent the wedding invitations through the mail instead...

I can't tell you how upset I am.

So I convinced him to get matching tattoos... he went first and I went home

I don't know what that says about me.

Lahore.

A Fluster Cuck

She’s with Jesus now.

Guess who came crawling back to me?

...there were so many red flags.