UPJOKE

Bright Eyes Jokes

An Armenian takes his son hunting with him for the first time.

\- I don't understand, Daddy, - the son says. - How are you going to hunt? You have no gun with you, no traps, no net even...

\- Ah, son, you don't know what our Armenian jinx is like. There, look, a rabbit is sitting under that bush. Such a strong, healthy little rabbit, such shiny fur it ha...

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round...

Police: TURN AROUND!!

Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

Old Soviet joke - Children in the USSR

Back in Soviet Russia, little Misha is being read to by his babysitter. She reads: 'In the USSR, kindegardens are filled with wonderful toys.'
Misha listens with bright eyes.
'In the USSR, every child has a brand new bicycle.'
Little Misha opens his eyes even wider.
'In the USSR, every...

Kisses beat snores...every time

Three guys were at a deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room.


No one wanted to room with Steve because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first night, John slept in Steven’s room and c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bunny Wabbits

A little girl steps into a pet shop, walks up to a sales associate, and says, "I would wike to buy a wabbit, pwease.."

The woman takes one look at the little girl, and her heart melts. The child had big, bright eyes, a little button nose, pig tails - she's cuter than Shirley Temple. She scru...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Clever Monkey and the Mighty Lion

One day, Clever Monkey was swinging through the canopy, leaping with great agility from branch to vine. Watch him as he swings and capers, the joy in his eyes, his monkey smile. Surely he was the fastest, smartest and perhaps the HAPPIEST of all the animals in the Kingdom.

As he capered abo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.