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Awwww Jokes

Awwww

If you watch Jaws backwards it is a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms & legs to disabled people.

Boy: Would you like to be the sun of my life? Girl: Awwww yes!!!

Boy: Good then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me.

A man and a woman were traveling in a train.Woman : Every time you smile,feel like inviting you to my place. Man: Awwww ... Are you single?

Woman: No. I'm a dentist.

A blonde joke.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family...

A married couple are lying in bed on the night of their anniversary...

The man asks her "Honey? There's something I've always wanted to ask you. How many men have you been with?"

"Oh darling." she says. "You don't want to know that. I know you too well. You'd get all jealous and angry with me."

He insists he won't. After a few minutes of back and forth s...

One night an old Scottish man was going to the pub

like he had done for the last 40 years.
He told his wife “Molly go and put on your coat”
Molly was delighted. “Awwww James are you finally taking me with you to the pub, after all these years! You always say You don’t want we there!!”
“No Molly, I’m just going to turn off the heater while ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kiwi man was in Australia for the Bledisloe Cup when he began to experience testicular pain..

So he went to see an Australian doctor and get some tests done.

Dr: "Your results are back sir and unfortunately they are not good. We are going to have to remove your testicles".

Kiwi: "Awwww no way bru! I'm going to git a sicond opinion!"

So the kiwi finds another Aussie docto...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about little Johnny?

Little Johnny was in grade 2, one day after class he was sitting in the back yard playing with his dinky cars and his dad sitting on the deck watching. Little Johnny is playing a lot quietly when a butterfly floats infront of little Johnny and *THUNCK* Little Johnny smashes the butterfly. Dad comes ...

Man pulls over to the side of the road next to two guys

Man: Awwww, look at this ! How cute are you !

Guy: Sir...

Man: You are so cute ! Are you twins??

Guy: Sir, I...

Man:Your mom even got the same clothes for both of you, you must be twins !

Guy: Sir, turn off the engine, and give me your licence and registration.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy breaks into a house...

As he starts to burglarize the place he hears a voice.
Voice: Jesus is watching
the guy looks around and dosent see anything. So he keeps sacking the place.
As he is picking up jewlery off a dresser he hears the voice again.
Voice: Jesus is watching
This time he was sure it ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is about to leave for a night out

A man was about to leave for a night out with his buddy.


"If you get drunk again," warned his wife, "I'll have your hide."


"Don't worry, honey." said the man, and was on his way.

The man and his buddy had a few beers when the man said "I need to quit drinking. I've had e...

A blonde and a brunette are walking in a park,

the brunette says awwww look a dead bird poor thing.

The blonde looks up and says where?

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