UPJOKE

Awkward Moment Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That awkward moment when you're having sex with a German girl and she keeps yelling "Nine!"

Like, are you just yelling your age or are ten of us too many?

That awkward moment when you tell a chemistry joke, and get no reaction.

I guess all the good chemistry puns argon.

That awkward moment when

That awkward moment when the woman you’re dancing behind bends over so you can grind it. But it turns out she just dropped an earring, and no one else in Mcdonalds can hear the music on your iPod.

That Awkward moment when you pay $2 for Evian water

and notice if spelled backwards your Naive

awkward moment in shop for 2 old ladies...

A pair of old ladies are waiting in line at the checkout, with a cucumber each.


When they reach the checkout the young man says to them they can have both cucumbers for 80c or a store special of 3 cucumbers for a $1.


One lady turns to the other & says:


'Wel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know that awkward moment when you're cumming and your mom starts calling you?

Me neither, when I masturbate I normally am the one who calls out her name.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Awkward moments

The way the joke is supposed to go:

>A man went to Alaska a 129 lb weakling and he came back a husky fucker.

My friend, who just started working at a new place, said it like this to a group of his new co-workers:

>A man went to Alaska a 129 lb weakling and he came back fuc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That awkward moment when you're about to hug

That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.

I had an awkward moment with my english teacher.

Apparently pathetic fallacy has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction.

That awkward moment when at the end she wanted a handshake, but you went on for a full french kiss

That job interview wasn’t really going anywhere, anyway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That awkward moment when a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer...

Killer: "Turn down that dark road down there."

Rapist: "I was planning on it..."

A young woman was pulled over for speeding.

A Pennsylvania state trooper walked over to her car window flipping his ticket book open. She said “I bet you’re going to give me a ticket to the Pennsylvania troopers ball?”. He replied “Pennsylvania State troopers don’t have balls.” There was an awkward moment of silence which point he closed his ...

My friend got angry at me for sniffing his sisters underwear

It didn’t help that they were still on her body and sure did make an awkward moment at the funeral service

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple of Old Ladys are sitting outside of their retirement home, smoking cigarettes

when it suddenly starts to rain, just a light drizzle, nothing too heavy.

The first old lady pulls out her little umbrella and awkwardly holds it up abover her as she puffs away on her cigarette.

The second old lady pulls out a condom, tears a hole at the tip with her teeth and procee...

It's Not Over Yet

The awkward moment when u go to church and accidentally sit next to your ex, and the pastor says 'turn to your neighbor and say...It's Not Over Yet:)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother cleaning her adolescent sons room finds a stash of hardcore German S&M porno mags...

Mortified, she puts them back so he won't know, but hides one in her apron to show her husband. Later that night they're in bed and she shows him the magazine... The father chuckles at first, assuming it was a Playboy, or Penthouse, but quickly becomes horrified at the images of whippings, and ball ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Long) Pope's Dinner

(First post here so I hope this one lands!)

A small Catholic church in Kalamazoo is going to be graced with the Pope's presence. To honor his visit, they decide it would be a good idea to cook him a nice fresh fish dinner. The Priest and the Bishop are out fishing for a while until the Bishop...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man meets a strange woman on a train in a sleeping coupe.

After a few awkward moments they make an arrangement that the woman will sleep on the top bunk and the man will sleep on the bottom bunk.

In the middle of the night, the woman gets up and prods the man to wake him up.

"Please, sir, I'm sorry for bothering you, but could you ask the con...

Marketing at it's best

A CEO for the *Helix* nail-gun company decides to seek for a new add campaign for their new product. He struts in to a marketing company and tells the AD to "make it awesome".

The art director nods to a designer who then proceeds to start drawing. An hour passes and the concept is ready. He h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long][NSFW]A duck and a horse are walking along a country road.

A duck and a horse are walking down a country road. They happen to pass by a barn and notice a beautiful Porsche parked inside. After admiring it for a minute they continue down the road. Suddenly, the horse trips and falls into a deep ditch and gets stuck in some mud.

 

"Help...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife visit Las Vegas for their 15th anniversary. Being the spontaneous couple they always have been the husband decides that their first night he will do all the planning.

They go out a fancy steak dinner and he pays extra to have the band sing their wedding song tableside and serenade his wife. She melts.

He then takes her to a magic show and pays extra to have her involved in the main act as the woman who disappears within the act. She is beaming with joy....

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.