Dear people who wrongly say "ATM machine".

I hope you get the HIV virus.

I don't understand ATM machines.

They just don't make cents.

Did you hear about the girl who accidentally put her donor card in the ATM machine?

It cost her an arm and a leg!

i asked my trainer which machine at the gym i should use to impress the girls... he pointed outside and said " the ATM machine"

i had 15$'s left though..

A man and his wife were in court to get a divorce.

A man and his wife were in court to get a divorce.
The problem in contention was, who should have the possession of the child?

The man or the woman?

The woman jumped up and said "My Lord, I am the mother of the child, I brought her into this world, with pain and labour. I am entitl...

A man walks into a gym and asks the receptionist: “what machine should I use to impress women?”

She responded swiftly (pointing outside the door) saying “The ATM machine, sir...”

Today is my first day at the gym.

I walk in and see a bunch of hot women working out. I walk up to the guy who is running the gym and ask him, " Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies over there?" He smiles at me and says, " Try the ATM Machine in the lobby."

You are invited to our next AA (Acronym Abusers) meeting!

Please RSVP by the ATM machine with your PIN number!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No matter how quick you pull out..

..the ATM machine always beeps.

Divorce custody

A couples divorce proceedings are in progress, and the case of who gets custody of their 4 year old child gets raised.

The mother pleads her case: "I'm the mother, I carried her for 9 months so of course she should stay with me."

The father responds: "if I go to an ATM machine, and I i...

Old lady at ATM

Last night I was walking home late at night when I saw an old lady having some trouble at an ATM machine . I approached her and asked could I help her in any way .

She turned around and thanked me before explaining that she simply wanted to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

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