I hate it when people ask me what the beginning of the pandemic was like.

I don't have 2020 vision.

When people ask me what's more important, food or love?

I don't answer because I am eating.

Last night, I was jumping for joy and yelling, and my wife came over to ask me what was going on

I yelled out - I just won the lottery!!! Pack your bags!!!

She got really excited and said - Where are we going?!?!

I replied - what do mean, “we”?

My brother used to constantly ask me what was in the box

Like god dammit,we were at a funeral and i felt so akward

People always ask me how I know so many Dad jokes.

Well it's because I keep them in a Dad-a-base.

Happy Father's Day!

My dad asked me the other day "Are you even listening to me?"

Which is a really weird way of starting a conversation if you ask me.

My friends always ask me why I always stay invisible on Discord

I just reply that I love my GF and I always wanna be like her.

I was pulled over by the police for a suspected DUI. They ask me to get out of my car.

Officer: We Are Going To Give You A Sobriety Test.
Me: OK

Officer: Say The Alphabet Starting At L, Backward.

Me: L At Starting Alphabet The.

They Let Me Go.

Bakeries often ask me to pose for promotional photos with their products.

Apparently I'm an excellent roll model

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my niece ask me where babies come from, I told her that they come from the stork

She then looked at me puzzled and asked, "who fucked the stork."

They ask me why I workout two times everyday

The answer is simple, I work out in the gym and then again when I get home, then they ask me “what’s at home?” And I answer “My Wife”.

People ask me how I feel about having never caught a heron

I tell them, "I have no egrets."

I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?

That's where I draw the line.

This guy born in the 50's called me to ask me the name of that toy that's supposed to come back to you

The boomer rang

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They ask me what a penis from Asia is called

I say “Easy, caucasian”

Ask me what I know about dwarfs.

Very little.

Person 1: Ask me if I am a tree.

Person 2: Are you a tree?
Person 1: No

My favorite joke of all time (Russian I think?), but thought I would share it for my first cake day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People ask me why I browse Reddit while pooping

It’s so I can look at shitposts while on my shitpost

People often ask me which Frankfurt I'm from...

The Main one or the Oder one.

I used a sample of my DNA to create a clone, with whom I now cohabit. People often ask me whether I think it's unethical.

I tell them I can live with myself.

The letters in the English alphabet go to the beach (don't ask me why). Every letter gets sunburned except W, X, Y and Z. Why?

They had UV protection in front.

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