I’m a scientist who’s researching bestiality between humans and dogs, so if you'd like to ask me anything...

...I’ll be in my lab.

I Am A Professional Procrastinator. Ask Me Anything

I'll be back to answer your questions in a few minutes.

If Matt Groening wanted to announce he wanted to do an Ask Me Anything...

Would he say Future-AMA?

I am one of the only survivors of the Kursk submarine incident. Ask Me Anything!

Whoops, wrong sub.

I know all the subjects of Hillary Clinton's emails, ask me anything

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeeez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "Ask me anything, I'll answer whatever you want."

"Okay," the guy says. "How can you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but si...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear and a hare suddenly found a genie in the forest

The genie says: "Ok, guys, since there are two of you and I'm feeling a bit generous, I grant each of you three wishes. Ask me anything!"
The bear asks in disbelief: "You really can grant any wish? Like anything I want?"
"Sure", the genie says
"The I want all the male bears in this whole fo...

Zebra dies and goes to heaven...

As he approaches the pearly gates of heaven St Peter approaches the zebra and asks “Welcome to heaven, do you have any questions before you enter?”

The zebra replies “Yes I do, something has been bothering me my whole life.”

Peter replies “What is it? Ask me anything!”

“Am I bl...

A woman found a magic lamp on the beach, rubbed it, and out popped a genie.

"Ask me anything and it's yours!" She thought a moment and then answered, "I want my husband to pay more attention to me, to protect me, to take me out frequently, to sleep close to me, and to be more caring, even if I get a tiny scratch." "No problem." And POOF! She was a smartphone!

Conspiracy theorist dies.

When he comes to heaven, God tells him:
"Now you can ask me anything."
"Ok, so who killed John F. Kennedy?"
"Lee Harwey Oswald did that."
"Wow, this goes much higher than I expected."

I have an uncontrollable hatred for abbreviations!

Ask me anything.

Just give them another chance!

So... The news reporters decided to end this "Blondes are stupid" myth once and for all. They go to the full football stadium and find three random Blondes.

REPORTER: "We want to end this myth once and for all, so we will ask you a simple question, if you answer correctly, Blondes will be fo...

A guy decides to wander the desert for 2 weeks with only supplies and a camel.

After a week though, he starts thinking about women and gets aroused. Considering he’s a week into his solemn stroll, he tries to think of a solution to fulfill his needs. The only solution he could think of was the camel.

He pulls down his pants and begins to try to ... seduce ... the camel...

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