UPJOKE

Apple Product Jokes

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What do you call it when you get your dick stuck in an Apple product?

A Steve Job

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Why do Chinese people love IPhones and Apple products?

Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.

(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post)

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New Apple Product Announcement: The iBra

Apple announced a new product: a bra that can store and play music. The iBra. The product is being praised as a step toward better relations between men and women. It is intended to address the complaints of women about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Damn girl are you an apple product?

Because you’re expensive and useless

Why does Eric Clapton only buy apple products

Because his son had a bad experience with windows

Why are Americans so obsessed with Apple Products?

Because they can't afford health insurance in the US

I’m becoming one of those people who spends all of their money on apple products.

I’m addicted to cider.

You could say the smell of a new Apple product is...

Scent from my iPhone

Apple Products

My friend asked me why I don't like Apple products. Told her that the cables remind me of my ex-gf, white and kink-free.

People buying Apple products are so dumb.

Sent from my iPhone.

With your current salary what Apple product can you buy?

Apple juice

How can you tell if someone uses Apple products?

Just wait and they'll tell you.

What do you call an Apple product's identification code?

A 'sirial' number.

Did you hear about Jon Snow dropping his new Apple product?

And now his watch has ended.

Why are Apple products popular with hipsters?

Steve Jobs went underground.

Apple is set to release their new electric smart car in 2024...

It will be the first apple product with windows.

Why can't you make phone calls on a banana?

They're apple products!

Hey Alexa,

Can you check my bank balance and let me know which Apple product I can afford?

Alexa: Apple juice!

Apple is going to release the first smart vacuum cleaner this year

The first Apple product that doesn't suck

(not hating on apple or anything but i got this joke somewhere)

An Apple a day keeps the doctor away

Because you have no money left after buying an Apple product

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They say watching porn might affect my IQ.

Ha, screw it, I don’t even have that Apple product.

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They say that using penis enlargement pills can affect my IQ and make me easily irritated.

What a load of bullshit, and I don’t even have that fucking stupid Apple product.

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Apparently taking too much Viagra can affect your IQ and cause aggressive behavior.

But the fuck I care about some crappy Apple products anyways

After retiring to a small village in the country, a mathematician soon becomes restless...

One day his wife suggests he pursue his hobby for electronics repair and open a shop. On the first day of business, he places a sign out front that reads “Electronics repair — No Apple products!” His wife inquires: “Why shut out some of your best business? iPhones, iPads, iPods, and iMacs, and some ...

Apple’s Hiring Practices

Apple realized they needed new programmers, so they began putting out word that they were seeking experienced workers. Unfortunately, due to the incompatibility between Microsoft and Apple products, they decided is was best to refrain from hiring former Microsoft employees. Their solution to weed th...

Me: hey you following the Apple event?

Friend : what's that?.. No I'm not following it

Me : New Apple products and improvements are getting announced today

Friend : anything free?

Me : iWish

A group of IPhones walk into a bar

Bartender: Get out!

IPhones: Why?

Bartender: I know you don't have any money!

IPhones: How?

Bartender: Because all you Apple products lost your Jobs years ago!

A little trip to Heaven

You know, I just came back from the dead. Well, they kicked me out, but that's a different story. The one thing I can tell you about heaven is that there are no windows in any of the houses.


Why, you ask?


Apparently, when Jobs died and went up there, he was put in charge of a...

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The King of all the gorillas was having a yard sale

The king of all the gorillas, mister Kong, was having a yard sale. He decided to sell his items collected over the years of roaming in the forests. He had been lowering his sale prices over the course of the day as fewer and fewer people were coming by.

Finally, one passer by came to buy his...

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