It's my cake day and I don't know any new jokes so. Here are some old jokes I use to love as a kid
1. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? Answer = A stick.
2. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Answer = Thunderwear.
3. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Answer = Dill with it.
4. What time is it when the...
To any new parent!
Use the old age filter on your kid.
Print it out, frame it and display it where they will see it daily.
At some point they will realise it's them.
Convince them they're a time traveller
Anyone know any new Groundhogs Day jokes?
I keep hearing the same ones over and over and over again.
Have there been any new advances in anti-itch skin creams?
It just seems like we've only scratched the surface.
Returning to work, a colleague asks me, "Pick up any new hobbies while stuck at home?"
"Yeah," I reply through my mask, "I took up ventriloquism. I'm pretty good; notice how you can't see my lips moving."
My friend used to run a hotel, but now he runs an Airbnb. I asked him if this change in job gave him any new challenges.
He said no, it’s entirely inn keeping.
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone.
He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's about average up our way, folks...like I said - my boy's a typical Irish...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
Joe Biden:...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A peasant goes to the lord of the land...
A peasant goes to the lord of the land and says
"My lord, if us peasants don't get any new livestock soon, we will be forced to revolt!"
The Lord replies
"We'll give out free roosters then!"
The peasant then asks
"How many roosters should each man get?"
The...
Jack and Joe are in prison...
Jack and Joe are in prison, in separate cells, some distance away from each other. Sad little jail cells really, with only a solitary, tiny window to peek into the outside. So they pass the time as best they can by telling each other jokes.
One day, Jack asks , "Got any new jokes, Joe?" ...
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