UPJOKE

Always Right Jokes

One of these days my wife is going to realize I’m always right…

Except for when I disagree with her.

Why is mother always right?

Cause dad's left.

In every marriage, there’s one person who is always right…

…and the other person is the husband.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Doctor is Always Right

A man wakes up feeling sick, so he goes to an urgent care center.  The doctor asks what his symptoms are, and he tells her, "I'm not sure - I'm just not right."

The doctor immediately replies, "I need a urine specimen."

The man is taken aback.  "Why do you need a urine sample?  You hav...

I am always right. Never been wrong.

One time, I thought I had been wrong. But it turns out I was mistaken.

Why are men always wrong and women always right?

Because men have a 'Y' chromosome and women have a 'because I said so' chromosome.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The customer is always right :)

So a guy is walking around in a recently built, mostly vacant shopping complex and notices that one of the shops on his line is open. He walks in and finds 2 guys at the counter and inquires as to what they are selling. One of the guys decides to be smart and says: "We're selling ass holes". To whi...

Some people say that the German Chancellor is always right but I find her a little obtuse..

But we all have a view on Angular Merkel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone once told me "What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right, think about how crazy people thought Noah was."

So I set aside my reservations and had sex with my daughters

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The Irish Square testicals

An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.


After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is alwa...

A Couple is Walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve...

A couple is walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation.

"I think it's raining," says the man.

"No, it's snowing," replies the woman.

"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the main. "Officer Rudolph, is it rain...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are male bathrooms on the left, and female bathrooms on the right?

Because no matter what, women are always right, even when they're full of shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boss gets mad at his worker for arguing with a customer.

The boss says, "I saw you arguing with a customer. How many times do I have to tell you that the customer is always right!?"

The worker replies, "Of course, the customer is always right!"

"Then why were you arguing with that customer?"

"He said that my boss is a stupid idiot!"...

There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.

Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.

Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.

"Got no clue", he said.

I was shocked. "What's diffe...

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