UPJOKE

Add In Jokes

I saw an add in the paper for a job at a mirror factory and I thought...

...now that's something I could see myself doing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The following add in the Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls

“Single female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play.

I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.

Candlelight dinners will have ...

A woman takes out an add in the newspaper reading....

"Wanted, a man who won't hit me, who won't ever run away from me, and is great in the sack!"

A week later she hears her doorbell but doesn't see anyone when she opens the door. Just as she's about to close it she hears a guy say
"Hey, down here."

She looks down to see a man with no...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A widow places an add in the classifieds...

Looking for a new partner. Since at her age she wasn't looking for a young fool, she figured she'd add a few specifications.

1. Must be over 50.

2. Must be wealthy enough to take care of me for the rest of my life.

3. Must be very talented in bed.

With that done, she ...

A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend.

In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.

To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him.

So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In an Asylum

5 people gather toghther to have a chat, among those people are, a necrophile, a zooophile, a sadist, a murderer and a masochist. The zoophile speaks and says to the others "Man i really want to fuck a cat" the other look at at him and decide to add in on the conversation, the Sadist then comes and ...

TIFU While drinking coffee during jury duty.

We were in the jury room deliberating the verdict. I was drinking a coffee, and dumped some packets of sugar into my beverage. Unfortunately a few were actually salt, and I ended up spitting hot coffee all over the woman next to me.

I tried to help clean off her dress, but accidentally hit h...

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