UPJOKE

My Acceptance Speech

"I would like to thank my arms, for always being by my side. My legs, for always supporting me, as best they could. As for my fingers, well I could always count on them. And finally my hips, for they never lied."

My college acceptance speech:

I'd like to thank Bigfoot for believing in me even though I never believed in him.

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

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